How to Laugh with a Teen Even When It Seems Impossible

Teens and parental relationships are complicated. Teens are talking on phone, running out the door, socializing, chatting on the computer, or not in the mood to hang out with parents. Parents are overwhelmed with work obligations, bills to pay, housework, meals to prepare, errands to run. With all the daily demands, it’s no wonder that parents snap and give orders, “Do your homework, pick up the towels, clean your room.” It’s no surprise that teens roll their eyes, sigh, and talk back. When such prickly interactions quality time is often relegated to the back burner. But here is the good news: There is no need to wait until things are perfect to enjoy one another. Using a playful observation can turn a confrontation around. Positive humor and laughter gives your relationship a quick jump start toward parent-teen bonding. Laughter strengthens the generational gap and can even turn a potential argument into agreement. It’s a little bridge bringing the two of you closer.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

1. Announce your intention to develop a funny bone. Your announcement will certainly get a teen’s attention. By setting an upbeat mood you will capture teens curiosity and they will probably smile and wonder what you are up to.
2. Observe teens laughing. Teens often have inside jokes that they keep private, but you can get an idea of what they consider funny by paying attention to what they are laughing about about.
3. Begin the day with a joke, end the day with a joke. Ask a teen to participate in the new daily joke routine. Tell them that you have started this routine because laughing is an antidote to crankiness. Search for age appropriate jokes to tell one another.
4. Take a clue. If teens are telling upbeat stories and playing around this might be a good time for you to join the party. Be jovial. Tell an upbeat story about yourself. Teens respond positively if you share stories about your own teenage foibles.
5. Look for opportunities to laugh. Find humor in the events of the day. Set a goal to find three humors incidents and then report what happened to a teen.
6. Laugh with a teen, not at a teen. Laughing is good parent–teen bonding, but not if you are poking fun at a teen. Be aware of teens' sensitive feelings. If they are laughing out of embarrassment, be sure to acknowledge that what they did was normal. Tell them that everyone makes a fool of themselves. Share when you did something similar.
7. Practice timing. Just as a comedian knows that timing is important in the delivery of a punch line, so is good timing important in connecting with a teen. Never force someone to laugh who isn't in the mood. There will always be another opportunity. Keep an upbeat tone of voice when attempting to relate.
8. Start a teen comedy club in your family room. Asked teens to share what movie they think is funny. Practice telling jokes to each other. Serve lots of goodies.
9. Set a good example by laughing at your own foibles. If you find yourself funny, they will learn to laugh at their own quirks and mistakes too. Teens are self-conscious about themselves so if they see that you can laugh at yourself, they will learn that skill too.
10. Put a lighthearted spin on a problems or arguements. A little laughter can turn a rift into connection. Laughter helps lighten mood so that you can work together for a solution.

Tips & Warnings

• You can purchase paper joke suitable for all ages. For ordering: check out the web site: http://www.livelovelaugh.com/LLSprink1.html
• You might find my book, Wonderful Ways to Love a Teen: Even When it Seems Impossible helpful
• Don’t laugh at everything. Some things aren’t funny!