How to Transform Jealousy Into Inspiration

Of all the complex and powerful emotions we experience as human beings, jealousy is arguably the most damaging. Jealousy poisons your relationships and limits your potential for growth. And there's no telling when envy will show its green head--it can grab your breath suddenly or creep, inch by inch, into your heart. You can be jealous of family, friends, coworkers, acquaintances, strangers, celebrities, and even fictional characters on movie screens. Luckily with a little self-awareness and discipline, the debilitating venom of jealousy can be transformed into the motivating elixir of inspiration.

Instructions

1. Vow to live a life of awareness. You cannot combat jealousy with your philosophical eyes closed to your own emotions, behaviors and instinctual patterns. The transformation of jealousy requires astute and dedicated self-examination.

2. Understand that jealousy is more about you than it is about another person. When you are jealous of a friend, for example, your jealousy has little to do with what your friend has and a lot to do with what you lack. The object of your envy is inadvertently acting as a mirror for your deepest yearnings. Thus instead of cursing those who fill you with jealousy, praise them for shedding light on a longing you didn't know existed.

3. Ask yourself directly, "What does this person have that I want for myself." Write a list that is specific and thorough.

4. Grieve for what you cannot control. I have often found myself jealous of friends with reliable, loving fathers, as my own father has never been a significant part of my life. There is nothing I can do about this except cry. And so cry I must until the tears have cleansed the pain caused by this unchangeable fact of my existence. You must mourn for what you cannot control and then, in order to truly move upward, you must release it.

5. Create! Build! Develop! Receive! I may never have a reliable, loving father, but I can have a family of reliable and loving friends. I can cultivate relationships with people of all ages and sexes and seek fatherly advice from other men. I also may never be as tall and svelte as a supermodel (or even an averaged height woman, for that matter), but I can treat my body like a work of art with exercise, healthy food, homemade facials and flattering clothing. I may never be a multi-millionaire, but I can work smart for my money, invest wisely and spend conservatively to ensure I feel stable. Do all you can to bring those things you can control into your life.

6. Trust that there is plenty of room for successful, victorious, fulfilled, beautiful people in this world. In fact, every single one of us can be successful, victorious, fulfilled and beautiful. Life is not a ladder. You needn't shove others down to move up. Life is more like a big, wide, twisting mountain path, and there's plenty of room at the top for everyone.

7. Beware that sometimes jealousy masks itself as hatred. If you find yourself gossiping, insulting or sabotaging somebody else, perhaps your motivation is hidden jealousy.

8. Appeal to your logic. You know that the grass is not greener. You know that appearances are not usually what they seem. You know that the person you are jealous of is jealous of somebody who is jealous of somebody who is jealous of somebody who is jealous of somebody. It's an endless cycle so decide not to ride.

9. Move apart from people who encourage your jealousy. Insecure people thrive when others are jealous of them and some even work hard to ensure that everyone around them is envious. A person who tries to make you jealous is not evolved and not worth your energy.

10. Accept that you are perfect as you are. Sure we all have room for improvements and upgrades, but our essence, our core, the center of ourselves is divine and exactly right.

Tips & Warnings

• When you work to fill your deepest desires, the amount of jealousy you experience in life will diminish and perhaps disappear altogether.

Resources

• Live an Extraordinary Life