How to Be a New York Jets Fan

It takes a special sort of person to be a New York Jets fan. The pain is great and the rewards are few. But rooting for a team with so many inexplicable difficulties and heartbreaking losses builds a strong character. It is not recommended for any aspiring football fan but, if you find yourself curiously attracted to the Jets, these guidelines should help you through the hard times.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• True grit
• A sense of humor
• Knowledge of football history
• A masochistic streak

1. Prepare yourself for disappointment every week of the season. The Jets tend not only to lose to teams who are better then they are, but also those teams who they should defeat soundly.
2. Forget ever having a decent number one draft choice. If the organizations pick is not truly idiotic, the player will be sure to flame out early in his career.
3. Get used to major fluctuations in success from year to year. Despite returning most of the same players, a Jets team that makes the playoffs one year will inevitably struggle to have a winning season the next.
4. Enjoy the losses. No team can blow a game quite like the Jets. The most absurd, illogical and impossible occurrences will turn a sure Jet victory into a soul stripping, humiliating defeat.
5. Revel in the historical joy that was the 1968 season. Even if you were not born yet, you can proudly point out that at least your team has won a Super Bowl. Many fans have no such bragging rights.
6. Always speak of Joe Namath as a supernatural being. He is the one true god.
7. Always take pride in the fact that you are a fan of a truly unique team. Some hate us, others may mock us, but there is no experience, for good or ill, quite like being a New York Jets fan. It takes a courage beyond simple sacrifice. It takes perseverance, cynicism and a healthy dose of self-loathing.