How to Mooch off the Good Will of Others

You're not a bad person. You're not especially rude or greedy. It's just that some days are harder than others. Sometimes you're short on cash, far from home or not feeling well. What can it hurt to rely on the generosity of friends or the kindness of strangers? As long as these friends and strangers feel good about helping you, it shouldn't hurt at all.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

1. Take the pulse of the kindliness and generosity around you. Proceed with Steps 2-4 only if you're reading a friendly mood and a high tolerance for weakness.

2. Hint that you need to be taken care of, but don't broadcast it. Walk a little slower as you carry your heavy bags. Frown with concern as you scan the menu or rummage for change in your pocket. See how far subtlety gets you. If you have to ask outright, you'll set up a different kind of transaction that includes a stronger possibility of being refused.

3. When the offer comes, be polite but not too firm in your politeness. If you say things like "Oh no, I couldn't" or "You're too kind," be sure the other person understands that you're accepting rather than refusing. A simple, sincere "thank you" works just as well for those who haven't mastered this delicate dance.

4. Don't ask for much. Generous people are more likely to continue being generous when the favors are easy and inexpensive. If you start to smell of greed or desperation, their generosity will run dry a lot faster.

5. Be grateful for what you get. After all, it's free and given with kind intentions. Unless you're very lucky, you won't be mooching off too many philanthropists or big-ticket donors.

6. Know when enough is enough. If you're adequately focused on whoever is treating you, you'll probably notice that moment when he sighs, when her gaze starts to wander, or when a forced smile signals the game is getting old. This would be a good time to express your thanks yet again for all kindness received.

7. For extra credit, offer something in return. This will cancel out any stigma of mooching, if you feel that's necessary. It may be enough to say, "Next time I'll get lunch," although that can sound insincere. On-the-spot repayment might include sharing some juicy gossip, paying a heartfelt compliment or feeding the parking meter. A bigger gift, such as cleaning someone's house or spending the night, might be seen as overpayment, in which case they'd be in your debt. Think twice before making that kind of offer.

Tips & Warnings

• Although different people are generous in different ways, it's usually easier to mooch necessities (hot coffee on a cold day or a ride in the rain) than it is to mooch luxuries (a bottle from the liquor store or cash for lottery tickets).
• Guilt may get the better of you. Stop mooching if that happens. Otherwise, you'll look like a charity case, and no one will feel good about that.