How to Win a Best Actor Oscar

The Oscar statuette for "Best Actor" is the most highly coveted award for male performers in film. It can open doors for your acting career, increase your asking price per picture and bring you untold status in the eyes of your contemporaries. Winning one may not be as tricky as you think. With a modicum of acting talent, an avid public relations person in your corner and this insightful approach, you can well be on your way to international film stardom.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• A small amount of acting ability
• A rabid agent or public relations person
• The ability to choose roles wisely

1. Avoid comedies at all costs. With very few exceptions, actors labeled "comedic" never win for Best Actor.
2. Build an acting resume weighted heavily with "difficult" dramatic roles: the brooding loner, the misunderstood everyman, the criminal with a heart or a lovable drug addict.
3. Rarely talk to the media at the outset of your career. This will give you an aloof quality much admired by industry insiders. Immediate popularity and success are death knells toward respect.
4. In your rare interviews, speak of acting awards with respect but insinuate that the "craft" and the "film" is what is most important to you.
5. Once you are established as a working actor, begin choosing roles where your character suffers from an affliction of the body, mind or spirit. The more rare the affliction, the better.
6. Donate large sums of money to a cause which fights this affliction. Kick your public relations team into high gear. Now is the time to open up to every interview and publicity stunt available to you. This should ensure at least a nomination.
7. Attend the Academy Awards Ceremony. Future nominations and wins will depend on you showing up for the event. The Academy does not appreciate slights and has a long memory.
8. Make sure your career has longevity. Most Best Actor Oscars are given to those who have been around a while and have lost previously for better performances. The Academy believes strongly in making up for past mistakes.

Tips & Warnings

• Change agents often.
• Have your films premiere in the last quarter of the year.
• Don't be bitter in defeat. There is always the possibility of a lifetime achievement award.