How to Watch TV

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To watch a televisions takes some of the greatest concentration a person can put out. Some of finest athletes, scholars, politicians, and all around do-gooders seldom make a a good television watcher.

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Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

Step1

Sit in front of the television. This may sound hard. But find a chair, a couch, sofa, whatever you need to succeed to watch the television. Put your butt on the sitting device and allow your legs to rest. With practice, this may become easier.

Step2

Turn on the television. Before you stop reading this, relax this step isn't nearly as hard as it sounds. Take a deep breath. Some to most televisions come with a 'power switch' or 'remote control' so you can turn on the television. Hit that button. Don't worry, it shouldn't make your wall explode.

Step3

Open your eyes. This step is easier said than done. You have two eyes and sometimes opening them both at once can be quite a challenge. So just remember what it is like to wake-up in morning, hopefully this will help you.

Step4

Use the 'Remote Control' to flip thru channels. Television, in reality, are not controlled by evil spirits, but apparently are sent thru 'digital signals' that reach your 'television' from a 'satellite' or 'cable'. Honestly, I didn't believe it either, but my cousin said it is true.

Step5

Televisions have 'Shows' on 'Channels'. When there is this high concept item called a 'commercial' that will give you permission to get up and get something to feed your hard working stomach. Warning: Do not eat anything healthy. Healthy food will not give you enough energy to complete your television watching.

Step6

Pray: Most people will make it thru a session of television watching usually with divine intervention. If you are lucky, the good lord may actually carry you thru an episode of a television show.

Tips & Warnings

For good comedy: don't miss Thursday night NBC
Don't forget about online replays of episodes. Most shows can be watched on the channel's website!
Don't ignore the silly shows. "Beauty and the Geek" and "Gossip Girl" may be just what you need.