How to Talk to Teens About Abstinence

With sexually transmitted infections at an all-time high in the United States, it is more important than ever to talk to teens about alternatives to sexual activity, such as abstinence. Abstinence involves refraining from sexual activity and is the only fail-safe measure in preventing both disease and unplanned pregnancy.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

1. Be specific about what abstinence means. Different people define abstinence in different ways, but it is probably best to explain it as refraining from vaginal, anal and oral-sex activity.

2. Discuss birth control and safe-sex methods as a part of your abstinence discussion. Even those teens who choose abstinence will at some point become sexually active, and they should be given the same information as teens who are already sexually active.

3. Tell teens the risks associated with sexual activity, including HIV and AIDS, STDs and unplanned pregnancy. You should not try to scare teens into not having sex, but you do want them to appreciate the risks.

4. Assure teens that they are not the only ones not having sex. Let them know that just because their contemporaries are saying they are having sex does not mean that they are. Furthermore, even if others are having sex, let them know that this is not the best road to take.

5. Tout the virtues of abstinence to the teens in your life. Freedom from worries about pregnancy, disease or a bad reputation is a benefit your child might find more comforting than you think.

6. Give teens alternatives to sexual activity. Let her know she can show her affection for another person without resorting to sex. Tell her she can kiss, cuddle and hold hands without putting one's life at risk.

7. Inform teens that abstinence isn't just about pregnancy and disease prevention. Talk about the emotional impact of having sex too soon.

Tips & Warnings

• You can't be shy when you talk about abstinence with teens. If you want them to make the best choices, they must be armed with clear and concise information.
• Talk to your child before someone else does. You want to be the one that tells your child about sex in a manner that is acceptable to you and respects your beliefs.
• Don't make abstinence seem like a punishment. Help your teen see that this is a choice that he or she is making for a better quality of life.

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