How to Talk to Teens About Masturbation

Masturbation has gotten such a bad rap over the years as something dirty and wrong that many teens are afraid to discuss this activity with their parents. The smart parent or guardian will demystify masturbation and let teens know that it is natural, and in most cases, healthy.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

1. Let teens know that they won't go blind, be covered in hair or experience any hideous, supposed results of masturbation. Although these fables may scare teens, they are not likely to stop them from masturbating and will only result in unnecessary guilt.

2. Explain to teens that the body is capable of sexual pleasure and that they should not be ashamed if they experience it accidentally or on purpose.

3. Find a way to express your beliefs about masturbation, particularly if you object to it based on religious reasons. Although you can express your feelings, refrain from making your child feel ashamed if he or she has masturbated or wants to continue to masturbate.

4. Talk to your teen about when masturbation is inappropriate, such as in public places. Discuss the problems with spending an inordinate amount of time masturbating as opposed to participating in other activities.

5. Start early talking about masturbation, since even small children happen upon its pleasure accidentally. If your child is nearing puberty, a talk is surely due.

6. Prepare to actually talk to your teen about masturbation if you bring up the subject. You can't expect your child to confide in you if she believes that you don't want to hear what she wants to say. Be patient and don't act shocked.

Tips & Warnings

• If you are comfortable with masturbation, let your child know that this is a safe alternative to sexual activity with others, but that it is personal and private.
• If you absolutely don't feel comfortable talking to your child, direct her to the family doctor, an adult family member, or a friend. Sometimes it is easier to talk to someone other than mom or dad, but this should be a last resort.
• Once you have discussed the subject with your child there is no need to ask if he or she is enjoying this activity. Some things are better left unsaid.

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[kosmosfl]

on 9/16/2009 I guessyou can talk with teens about masturbation but not with young kids. They probably won't understand what are you trying to tell them.
a good idea would be to buy books about sexuality, especially ones oriented to teens.

[brantozeke]

on 10/20/2008 ...I wouldn't recommend talking to younger children about masturbation. I ENJOYED remaining innocent, and masturbation is a heavy idea to throw on a kid. When a boy is going through puberty, it might help if Dad talks to him - but why bother about it before that! Good grief!