How to Survive a as a Navy Wife and Mother When Husbands Are Shipped Out

If your husband is leaving or is gone for 6 months to a year, and you are left to deal with everything back home. Here are some tips to help you cope.

Things You'll Need

• Strength
• Patience
• Peace Time
• Your Time
• Family
• Friends
• Your Ombudsman's Name and Phone Number (the Ombudsman is usually the Wife of a Chief or Sr. Chief who is the "go-to" person when the troops are gone and emergencies arise)
• Stationary
• Notebook
• Empty Scrapbook
• Tape Recorder and Video Camera
• Lots of boxes
• Collect items your husband loves and are easily shippable when you make a trip to the store, or stroll through the house, seeing something he may miss or think of you when he sees, hears, tastes, smel

Instructions

How to Survive a as a Navy Wife and Mother When Husbands are Shipped Out

1. There are no true "steps" to this process, however, you will learn several techniques to use to make your life easier, and help make you feel like your other half is there, even though he is thousands of miles away.

2. Before he leaves, each of you go through a process. You are angry, hurt, sad, lonely, scared, proud and strong--all at the same time. You are trying to stay strong, but know that you'll have to deal with so much while he's away--and it's scary. You are so proud of him, yet you ask yourself--"why is he doing this?" You know why, and you've married him because of why. This is where strength comes into play.

3. Help him pack, sign papers, go to pre-deployment meetings so you can meet your Ombudsman and other Navy Wives going through the same things as you. Some of you may choose to be involved with the activities the Ombudsman arranges while the troops are gone, however, it is not mandatory. However, it is suggested that you stay in contact with the Ombudsman for troop movements, special events, Tiger Cruises, and half-way or "ride with me home" trips.

4. Pack him a "special" box, or write him a letter--that tells him everything--how proud you are of him, how much you will miss him, and how much he can't wait to come home to you. This will get both of you off on the right foot. You have accepted him leaving, and he knows that with your strength and love, you'll be waiting for him when he gets home.

5. When kids are involved--get them involved in every aspect of Dad leaving that you can, and they are able to do. The more you involve your children, the better they understand the "Military Life." Children understand more than adults give them credit for. You should know your own children, and how much they can handle. If possible, take them on a tour of "Daddy's Ship", or "Daddy's Airplane"--this will give them a picture in their minds of where Daddy is living and working for the next few months.

6. Leaving day sucks--no lie--but try to plan something fun to do after you say your good-byes. Take a drive, do your cry if you have to. Go shopping, out to lunch with friends, to a movie--anything to get your mind away from tears, and back to living. You have lots to take care of yourself now, and need every bit of "you" time that you can get, especially if you have kids. If you have kids, take them to the park near the airport if he's leaving by plane, beach or picnic by the ocean to watch Dad sail off if he's leaving by ship. Make sure to have your "you" time after the kids are in bed!

7. Make the most of every day while he's gone. Do your normal routine, and do something for your husband daily. Write him a letter, send him a care package, make a tape of the kids during dinner or play time. Your husband wants to know that everything is okay at home--everything is normal--somewhere. So let him know that it is--daily. You can save a week's worth of letters, mail them off--have the kids put in pictures, postcards and their own letters to Dad.

   If it helps, set Dad/Hubby a place at the table for dinner--let's everyone think about him, include him in your prayers, and helps you stay proud and strong for him.

Tips & Warnings

• Have lots of stationary and paper around if you are a writer! You may want to keep a journal for yourself, to record how these months were on you. Someday, you may want to share them with other Navy wives to help them.

• Remember, packages and letters can take FOREVER to get to a ship or base--pack items that will not spoil in a couple weeks. Pack things you know they will use, not excess "trinkets," they have very little room for "extras."

• Love them when they leave, love them more when they come home!

• Being a Navy Wife is not an easy job--it's an adventure!

• Never be afraid to ask for help--from friends, family, neighbors, Ombudsman--you are not expected to do it all by yourself--so depend on others--they are there to help you when you need it!