How to Encourage Independence In Your Child Without the Power Struggles

When the terrible twos strike, most parents cringe. Your child’s tantrums and strong will are actually a healthy sign of maturity. Learn to encourage independence in your child while avoiding the power struggles typically associated with this age.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Patience
• Patience
• Patience

Encourage Independence without the Power Struggle

1. Understand why your child is acting up. Your child is just learning that he or she is an individual who is capable of communicating their desires. They are learning what they like and don't like and will be more than happy to let you know exactly what it is. Their tantrums are actually a healthy sign of maturity.

2. Explain to your child what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Many parents incorrectly assume that their child is incapable of understanding rules. If they choose to disregard your rules, don't give in. Children are smart. If you say one thing and do another, they will manipulate you.

3. Ignore them. If your child is throwing a tantrum, ignore them. Bad behavior shouldn't be recognized. Try to engage them in a different activity, or leave the room and do a chore. When they realize you aren't paying attention they will change their tactic.

4. Applaud good behavior. When your child says please or thank you, point out how wonderful that made you feel. By constantly pointing out the good things they do, your child will start to appreciate the admiration.

5. Limit choices. By limiting options for your child, you still allow them the option of making their own choices, but you save yourself the frustration of constantly bending to their whim. Next time offer two choices for a snack, and insist they choose one of them.

Tips & Warnings

• Every child will throw a tantrum. It does not make you a bad parent.
• Each time your child acts up, be grateful they are excelling in their intellectual growth.
• If you get so frustrated you feel like you could hurt your child, ask a neighbor to watch them and take a quick 10 minute walk.

[copperhill]

on 2/7/2009 You hit the bulls eye with this article. We have a 3 year old and an 8 month old. We have employed all of your suggestions with our daughter. Thanks for summarizing these steps in a thoughtful concise manner.