How to Approach a Man

Making the first move could change your life.

Although dating roles no longer follow the rules of earlier generations, making the first move still takes nerve. Approaching a man with confidence may increase your chances of getting a date. A simple and genuine introduction can spark a conversation with a man who appeals to you. Go with a direct approach and a winning smile to break the ice. Presenting yourself well begins with looking your best, making eye contact and listening as much as you talk. Showing interest in a man opens up the possibility of spending more time together, if the feeling's mutual.

Things You'll Need

• Personal card

Instructions

1. Smile and make eye contact. This signals interest and is a friendly warm-up first move in case the man is shy.

2. Walk up to him, smile and introduce yourself. Ask him a question. If you're at a cafe, market, bar or event that serves refreshments, you can ask if he's had a particular food or beverage. A sincere compliment, request for information or humorous remark also works to open a conversation.

3. Ask him something about himself to keep the conversation going. Most men like to talk about themselves, so showing an interest in his hobbies, taste in music or opinions can help keep the connection going. Focus on listening and relaxing. If you enjoy his company and let him know it, the genuine warmth of your interest can get the interaction off to a good start.

4. Offer him your personal card once you've talked long enough to establish that you have interests in common and like being with him. Suggest a specific time and a public place. If you found out that he enjoys art exhibits, suggest meeting at a gallery. If he's open to it, you've succeeded at landing a date with a guy you want to get to know. If he turns you down, no harm, no foul -- it's good practice for connecting with an appealing man. The next one might say yes.

Tips & Warnings

• A personal card with your cell phone number allows you to approach a man you don't know without revealing your workplace, home address or home phone number. Although no one wants to think an attractive stranger might be unbalanced, a criminal or a potential stalker, it's wise to take some time to get to know someone before giving out information that you could regret disclosing to a stranger.

• Keep a clear head -- by, for example, not drinking too much -- to allow yourself to make a good impression and avoid being too vulnerable.

• Educate yourself about the risks of sexually transmitted diseases and unplanned pregnancy. Protecting yourself and treating yourself with respect sends a positive message to a man you want to be intimate with.

References

• University of Maryland; Teenage Dating in the 1950s; Windy Sombat; 2000
• "Essence"; Six Ways to Approach a Man and Ask Him on a Date; Paul Carrick Brunson; July 2011

Resources

• Marie Claire; Five Fun Ways to Reject a Man Kindly; July 2007