How to Come to a Comfortable Arrangement with Your Demons

As we grow older and actually start to examine the many self-defeating and self-destructive behaviors we have accumulated over our lifetime, there are times when such introspection can be overwhelming. Realizing that some things cannot be completely erased will help us to accept that it is possible to co-exist with our inner demons and even live comfortably with them.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• Yourself
• Your inner demons (also known as not-so-great behaviors and mindsets)
• Time for reflection
• Acceptance
• Willingness to compromise

1. Understand that some things may never heal. We have all experienced various traumas and terrible situations in our lives. Some we were able to get over, but there are some that just will not go away, despite our best efforts. Realizing that everything does not heal is an important step in co-habiting peacefully with your demons. This is about dealing with the demons, not getting over them.
2. Be aware of those sensitive spots. Once you figure out those demons that will not lay to rest--despite your best efforts--call them by name. Acknowledge them and their place in your life. Be friendly (but not friends) with them. Trying to avoid the demons will cause you to regress into the mentality of a six-year-old who refuses to face up to his fears. Demons don’t like the light and fresh air, so drag yours into the brightest ray of outdoorsy sunlight possible.
3. Incorporate the demons into your everyday life. So far you’ve identified your demons, called them by name, and gave them an airing out. Now you adjust your life accordingly. Much like a diabetic incorporates insulin shots into her daily lifestyle, so must you blend your demons (which manifest as sensitive spots on your psyche) into your day-to-day routines. You recognize those sore spots and work around them; you don’t aggravate them, as one might do with a sore tooth or by picking a scab.
4. Remain vigilant. This is an ongoing process for the rest of your life. Again, I’ll use the diabetes analogy: you are not cured of your demons by dealing with them, much as a diabetic is not cured of his diabetes just because he takes insulin. A slip-up can cause the demons to re-exercise control over your life and send you back into a downward spiral, which manifests in self-sabotaging and self-defeating behaviors. Not only that, but those suckers come back stronger and meaner, which means that it will take a lot more effort to bring them back to heel.

Tips & Warnings

• It could be argued that even acknowledging one’s demons is giving them power and energy. This is not the case. Coming to a comfortable arrangement with your demons is actually diminishing their power. You become the boss of your demons by telling them when and where they can get in where they fit in. They are no longer the boss of you.