How to talk to your kids when they ask about you and your ex

What to do and possibly avoid when your children ask about you and your ex.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• Patience
• Understanding
• The ability to think clearly
• Ability to let go of the anger in front of the children

1. Ok, so the child is for some reason looking at pictures of your wedding to your now ex and asks. "When are you and Mommy/Daddy getting back together?"
   
   -Take a deep breath
   - Think before the leap
2. Speak clearly and very kindly
   - they are just wondering why not trying to make you angry
3. For the sake of your children let go of the anger for the time your with them
   - Saying negative or hateful things in front of your children about the
   other person is wrong, hurtful and causes stress in your children.
   - Always keep in mind that your children are not as foolish even at
   young ages (My daughter knew my name at age 3 and my ex still refers
   to me by that name in front of my kids)
4. When you say something disrespectful about the other person
   Your kids learn this and often repeat this to the other person not realizing how hurtful it may be (I have been there and it hurts)
5. If you cannot say something nice, then better to say nothing at all

Tips & Warnings

• Talk to your kids not at them
• Treat even small children as adults when speaking to them (languages are learned more effectively when spoken to them this way)
• Do tell them only what they need to know
• Do share your feelings about them, not your ex
• Always tell them and show them how much you love them
• Be willing to make some sacrifices to make their lives better
• Put the children first
• Avoid saying things like your mom/dad is an inconsiderate .......
• Never say anything bad about the ex in front of your kids to create negative feelings between the kids and your ex. This will only hurt the kids in the end.
• Never lie to your ex regarding issues related to the kids
• Never lie to your kids about your relationship with them
• Never sacrifice your kids love to get even with your ex for any reason!