How to Sniff Out Online Phonies

You’re out in that sea of people seeking friendship or among the singles again, and have discovered it to be a very different scene today. Yes, bars, clubs and other social groups are still a large part of mingling, but now many people have found success, and meaningful friendship, online. Sites like MySpace, Livejournal, Friendster, AIM and others provide unequaled chances to meet people from around the world. It can be an exciting adventure, and lead to travel opportunities, deep relationships—-and even true love. There is something meaningful to be said about knowing how a person thinks and feels before ever setting eyes on them. It’s romantic--a throwback to history when there were common eras of arranged marriages or long-term/long-distance friendships, fostered by luxurious letters brimming with information and insights not revealed in person. But, there are some pitfalls in dealing online that the vulnerable person may not realize, until it is too late. It’s not just teens or young kids being pulled in by wily online con artists; many adults have taken bait also, but are often too embarrassed to even talk about it, let alone report it to authorities. Use these tips to help you sort out the fakes.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Are the people you meet online really in disguise, or hiding important aspects of themselves from detection? First, there are almost as many vultures seeking the lonely or vulnerable online as there are hackers learning how to circumvent secured business or government sites. Why? Well, some are bored, like to constantly re-invent themselves, or find perverse pleasure in fooling others. Some are—well, plain mean or mentally ill. And, some would bleed you dry monetarily. Seriously.
   
   Beware of people who make fast friends with you, and seem overly eager to know you better. Be selective with what you share, like phone numbers, addresses, family info or financial data.
   
   If you have a talent or skill (ie: original artistry like poetry or photography), try to protect your work from someone who might steal and sell it, passing it off as her own. With as many websites and publications as there now are, sometimes tracking these schemers can be near to impossible, so it could be a while before their intent/actions are even revealed--especially if they are really slick and you trusted them.
2. This may be who is really behind those intellectual, mature emails you think come from your soul mate. Does your new “best friend” have PayPal mysteriously listed within their journal, yet has no obvious business? Let that red flag fly! That’s called good instincts. Often, these characters are selling naked photos or videos of themselves; a “free” sample of what they “have” will be posted within their friendship journal as artistic endeavors, but be sure to catch the next, hardcore sample, compliments of your credit card.
   
   Also, watch for people with nebulous life details, like mention of their actual state, city, birth-date, occupation, or marital information. There may be an ulterior motive. They may be attempting hook-ups on the side, unbeknownst to their spouses, or they may be passing themselves off as totally different than who they really are.
   
   Do you know anyone IRL (in real life) or whom you met previously online, with an axe to grind or intent on stalking you? Did you meet them naturally over time, through other online acquaintances, or did they suddenly pop into your life by showing up on your f/l (friends list) or instant messge you? Usually these people have an agenda not compatible with what others want.
   
   They might be IRL troublemakers, looking to embarrass or hurt you, pressure you to buy something, or have a sinister intent to extract money from you. Did they engage you almost immediately in flirty, double entendres, regardless of your—or their—marital status? Did they want to know if you have a webcam?
3. Beware often. You could meet the equivalent of this barfly online. Does an online friend frequently have financial problems, health issues, emergency problems or other life debacles that result in them asking others for money, or someone to put them up for a while? This is far more common than you know, and both men and women pull this scheme on others, although it is more often that women are taken advantage of. Sometimes, after successfully pulling this off, the con artist’s “journal” disappears entirely, leaving others up in the air about the friend they genuinely cared about, and willingly gave time, concern and money to.
   
   Watch for people who seem to always have health or job issues, claim a sad or victimized upbringing or frequent life problems. They usually have “drama” galore online to share—-or create among other online contacts. Look for the ensuing discord among those who have befriended them. Often, arguments or controversies surface among people caught up in this person’s online presence, but lo and behold, no matter how in the wrong the site-owner may be, watch for something remarkable: people coming to their rescue. Guess what? Even though the online identities of THOSE people indicate differing genders, races, ages, etc., they are none other than the ORIGINAL troublemaker, backing up their own arguments to make it look like they have a massive following.
   
   Sometimes, such people work in teams, and can surface on websites to sabotage businesses or other legitimate concerns. They pick fights, cause rumors, and are never far from trouble behind the scenes, unbeknownst to the business.
   
   Or, they may create different personas to take advantage of website incentives, setting up various email addresses to get past the management’s watchful eye. They may skew the “scores” of others eligible for incentives based on points earned for various work fulfilled online. If patterns start to emerge indicating something’s not right, look for personal info on these people. Do they fail to really reveal who they are with an actual photo or give identifying details? Or, if they do list a state/city, do they claim to hail from common large cities, in states at great distances from each other? Watch for phonies!
   
   Yes, there are the occasional people who zero in on their actual spot of origin by using a large nearby city, but this method is frequently used by con artists who don’t want you to know where they are—-and are actually states away.

Tips & Warnings

• Remember: It is much easier to pretend to be someone you aren’t online than it may be in person. When daily news is filled with police stings of pedophiles, don’t forget just as many adult victims are conned, too.