How to talk to a child with attention problems

Raising a family is difficult enough without adding challenges. Do not go running off to a private school just yet! Even if your child (or other kids) have attention or other behavior problems. Here are some helpful, unique phrases and tips that will help to talk (not yell) while you regain their attention and refocus their actions. This will encourage and may restore healthy interaction in the home and at school.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

• Quiet meeting places
• Children
• Family support

How to communicate with and refocus challenging kids

1. If your child is old enough and is supposed to be dressed in the morning before he watches TV or plays video games you may want to ask "Why do you need the remote (or gaming controller), you are not already dressed?"
2. Take stock of the things your child values at home, such as video games, computer, software, trading cards or friends. Be prepared to remove those things and have the child earn items back if undesirable communication or behavior takes place.
3. Make it a policy that the child does what you ask the first time, every time. Do NOT repeat yourself. Stand in a place where they can see you waiting for them to respond.
4. Get in the habit of not arguing, as this will not improve as the child gets older. Instead, redirect by saying "arguing is not acceptable." Repeat yourself as needed, yet sparingly. Do not say "please do this" because then the child may think they are doing you a favor. Instead you may want to say "I need you to...".
   
   They are a part of your team, after all.
5. If they turn up the volume during your conversation, it is your job as a parent, teacher or caregiver to turn back DOWN the volume. The quieter you get, the more they will have to lower their voice and improve their tone so they can listen.
6. Keep a chart of desired behaviors and mark with stickers. Or, you can put a currency/auction in a classroom. Your creativity will help increase desired behaviors.
   
   Stickers, cards or money can then help them purchase things they want such as a "dog ate it" for homework, game time, meals out, computer time, activities with you and more!
7. These are just a few steps to keep yourself and the child in check and back on track to effective, honest and respectful communication. Give them a try and see how little things can bring about big changes in your life.

Tips & Warnings

• If at first these tips do not work, keep trying. Invent your own phrases.
• Use repetition
• Develop a reward system for good behavior
• Keep Christmas and holidays short and lessen the frequency of get togethers. This will help keep your child calmer during a chaotic time of year.