How to Mentally Prepare for Sex

One of the trademarks of the sexual revolution seems to be a tidal wave of information on how to have "safe" sex, but less and less information on the actual emotional and physical impact of sex. If you have somehow managed to remain ignorant of the details of sexual involvement amid the constant bombardment by the media, movies, schools and your peers, good for you! But if you are contemplating having sex, now would be a good time to find out all you can and mentally prepare yourself for the experience.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Check out a reputable book or website and make sure that you understand the general mechanics of sex. Don't put a lot of faith in what you've heard. If you've never engaged in sex with anyone before, you owe it to yourself to verify that you have the whole story.
2. If you are female and a virgin, you should understand that your first few times having sex can hurt quite a lot (although some women report having hardly any pain) and there will definitely be some blood. If you are male and a virgin, you may have trouble maintaining an erection and you will likely have problems with premature ejaculation. Don't worry - these issues should gradually fade with consistent intercourse.
3. Understand that it is unlikely that your sexual experience will be "perfect" the first, second or even third time you are intimate with your partner, even if you have had sex before. That is because everyone is different and what works with one person may not work with another. So don't let yourself be intimidated by someone who is more "experienced" than you. They are going to be starting pretty much at square one too.
4. Be aware that there may be things about your partner or his/her body or sexual style that you will not like. The key is to tactfully address the things that your partner is able change and to show acceptance for the things they cannot.
5. Always, always wear a condom if you are not married. Even if you are married, condoms can be cheap birth control. Your local public health clinic usually has free ones that they will give out if you just ask. The one thing to be aware of with condoms is that they tend to slightly reduce sensation (for both men and women), as well as some of the feeling of connectedness. However, while this can seem less than optimal, the protection and peace of mind they offer is more than worth such a small sacrifice.
6. Besides the actual mechanics of sex, it is good to be prepared for the emotions intercourse is likely to elicit. Contrary to popular belief, although feelings of attraction or love can and do lead to sex, the act of sex conversely leads almost inevitably to feelings of attraction or love. Therefore, make sure that this is the right guy or girl for you, because once you've had sex, you will likely find yourself unable or unwilling to break off the relationship.
7. Another question you should already have answered before you have sex with someone is: If something were to go wrong and your actions resulted in pregnancy, are you prepared to cope with the consequences? If not, it is wisest to abstain, however difficult it may seem. There are many young people today that can confirm how much easier it would have been to abstain at the time than it now is to raise a child or cope with the guilt of abortion.

Tips & Warnings

• This tutorial assumes that you have no mental handicaps, are of legal age and are mature enough to understand the ramifications of having sex.
• Don't rely on hear-say or on what your friends have told you. Oftentimes your friends are just as ignorant as you, sometimes more if they don't want to admit that they don't have all the answers.
• If you feel you are experiencing an extreme amount of pain (whether male or female), it would be wise to seek medical assistance.
• If you are not legally old enough to have sex, you may very well not be mentally mature enough either. The ultimate purpose of sex is to unite two consenting adults who are open to and ready for long term commitment with each other. Recreational sex can be fun, but it also tends to create emotional issues in future relationships. Choose your partners wisely.