How to Live With Someone Who Has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

When dealing with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, no one is more frustrated by the illness then the person with the illness. However, family and friends who live with the disorder also feel its affects. Sometimes frustration over the irrational behavior takes over, or too much sympathy can cause the disorder to worsen. But, until the person has overcome the illness, there are ways to ease the stress of living with this behavior.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Start off by researching the disorder because some common misconceptions about OCD are that it's caused by lack of willpower, laziness or trauma. Realizing that OCD is a recognized mental health problem can help clear up any confusion. People with OCD actually feel frustrated over their behavior and feel they have little or no control over the situation. Learning more about the illness will help foster an understanding about what the person is going through.

2. Frequently, the person with OCD will try to recruit her family and friends to help with the obsessive rituals, according to the Center for Addiction and Mental Health. Although, the family member or friend may feel they are helping by complying, he is only obstructing recovery. Nevertheless, a gradual stop of participation is better than quitting cold turkey because it could trigger overwhelming distress for the person with OCD, and even worsen the behavior.

3. Show support and try not to lose your cool. Negative comments and criticism often makes OCD worse, while a calm, supportive network can improve the outcome of treatment, according to the OCD Recovery Centers of America. Telling the person with OCD to simply stop the behavior doesn’t work, but praising successful attempts to resist the rituals can be beneficial.

4. Try to either go with the person to a few therapy sessions or talk to the clinician about his/her progress. By showing interest in the struggle to overcome the illness, you are showing support.

5. Don’t stop living your life. If you make your life all about the OCD, it will become the only way of living.

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[SafetyLady808]

on 12/8/2008 I saw the comment you posted about living w/ someone w/OCD and I wanted to share a comment.

I can definitely identify with you except I am married to a husband who has OCD. The last seven years of my life have been so difficult and that is putting it mildly. Everything has to be perfect all the time. Nothing that I do is ever good enough. It is so hard to have a self esteem being married to someone who has OCD and isn't willing to get treatment.

It's one thing to date someone with OCD, but being married to them can become a prison. He have no sense of self worth because everything you do isn't ever good enough. I can identify with the other person who mentioned the towels. My husband is obsessive about the towels being perfectly straight, the bed being perfect or the canned being aligned. Once my husband kept trying to keep my kids and I away from our home because he said just our

[orchardman]

on 9/11/2008 Hi Goldenbay
Hi, I don't know if my ex had ocpd but the more i read about itthe more i wonder. She criticised everything I did and things had to be done her way. I am talking about hanging towels in a certain way, cutting vegatables her way, not washing up and drying correctly etc.Generally, she made me feel stupid even though I am fairly bright. She said that all the things I did wrong had 'consequences' whatever that meant? The fact thay I was loyal to her, supportive, would never be unfaithful, caring etc meant nothing to her but she hated me for trivial things. Then she started on my appearance, hair needed cutting, horrible colour swimming shorts( who cares) etc. Finally, she began put downs in front of others like saying i was a Dork! thanks a lot. Finally she ended things, what a cheek. Of course i was probably messy at times but this was beyond that. In the early days she adored

[orchardman]

on 9/11/2008 Hi Goldenbay
Hi, I don't know if my ex had ocpd but the more i read about itthe more i wonder. She criticised everything I did and things had to be done her way. I am talking about hanging towels in a certain way, cutting vegatables her way, not washing up and drying correctly etc.Generally, she made me feel stupid even though I am fairly bright. She said that all the things I did wrong had 'consequences' whatever that meant? The fact thay I was loyal to her, supportive, would never be unfaithful, caring etc meant nothing to her but she hated me for trivial things. Then she started on my appearance, hair needed cutting, horrible colour swimming shorts( who cares) etc. Finally, she began put downs in front of others like saying i was a Dork! thanks a lot. Finally she ended things, what a cheek. Of course i was probably messy at times but this was beyond that. In the early days she adored

[goldenbay]

on 8/31/2008 Can anyone offer advice about having a relationship with OCPD sufferer. My ex boyfriend has it and I wonder if it has contributed to him always finding fault with me and ending the relationship, many times over 4 years. He also has ME.

[goldenbay]

on 8/31/2008 I have been in a relationship for over 4 years with my boyfriend who has OCPD and ME. He has broken the relationship off many times saying I am exhausting him. He tells me a catalogue of things I have done wrong over the years and we are now separated, with him wanting to remain friends. I know I have done and said things wrong, over the years and are willing to change, but wonder if the OCPD could have had and effect on his judgement. Can anyone who is in a relationship with an ocpd sufferer offer advice