give your child enough space to let him freely decide what to want and what to do
Step2
violence will never solve the problem your child did , but will sure kill his personality , so easy deal with the problem by letting your child know what he did was wrong and he can do better , encourage him by telling him that you know he didn't mean to o this and letting him know that you know hell do better and your still proud of him
Step3
never force him to go to do something he don want to , like if he don want to eat or go to school still make him feel he's free but try to know the reasons and solve them by talking to him and then dealing with the problem like in the school case you might find out that someone at the school is disturbing him , and in the food thing for example try to encourage him by telling him hell have ice-cream if he eat well , and so on , solving the problem by leting him say what he wants and making him solve the problem by encouraging him.
Tips & Warnings
the main idea is to make your child feel free and make him decide in all cases , never decide instead of him but talk with him encourage him and let him feel that he's making his own decition.