How to Raise Strong, Confident Girls

From the time you hear, "It's a girl!" until you see her head to college, your daughter will be exposed to lot of negative, sexist messages about being female. While she may be pretty in pink, what you really want to instill is red-hot confidence. With your guidance, she can grow into a woman who feels capable and whole.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• Colors besides pink in her room and clothing
• Affirming books
• Variety of toys
• Strong women/strong men in her life

1. Start early. Beginning in her infancy, praise her for what she can do more than for the way she looks. "You're so pretty!" will make her think appearance is her greatest attribute, but "You worked so hard on that sand castle!" lets her know she's valued for her skills.
2. Think through the pink. Make sure her clothes and her room are made of many colors, and not just light pink, dark pink and magenta. It may seem like a small factor, but it helps take her beyond the only "girls wear/do this and boys wear/do that."
3. Buy girl-positive books. Strong girls need less "Cinderella" and more stories in which the girl is the hero.
4. Make sure her toy box includes trucks, play tools and modeling clay as well as dolls. Include some action hero costumes in her dress-up clothes collection.
5. Deconstruct the Barbie. It's difficult for parents to escape Barbie dolls altogether, but make sure your daughter knows that Barbie is unrealistically proportioned and has an unhealthy focus on her looks. You may feel silly explaining that to a 3-year-old, but it's never too early to plant the seed.
6. Surround her with strong and caring people of both sexes. If there's a dad in the picture, encourage him to share a variety of activities such as building a birdhouse, changing a tire or baking bread. When she's old enough, take her to work with you.
7. Take her out to the ball game and the car show as well as the ballet. Introduce her to a variety of interests.
8. Don't be sabotaged by Grandma and Grandpa. When well-meaning relatives fuss over her curly hair and big eyes, remind them—in front of her—that she just learned to tie her shoes and do a cartwheel.
9. Encourage her academically. Tell her, "You can do it," instead of, "Well most girls aren't good at math."

Tips & Warnings

• Explain to your relatives and other caregivers about your goals for your daughter.
• If you also have a son, treat your children equally.