How to Stay Connected to a Difficult Tween

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When kids reach their preteen years they can become quite ornery and hard to get along with. For many parents, avoidance is the technique that keeps peace in the house. However, it is more important now than ever to stay connected to your tween. The tween years are years of great influence and the years when others can control the ideas and ideals your children form in life. You can use the following ideas to stay connected to your volatile tween.

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Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Step1

Figure out what you and your tween have in common. Did you pass down the gene for artistry? Do you both have an eye for fashion? Is your sense of humor similar? By determining what you have in common with your tween, you can learn to focus more on those things and less on the qualities that bother you. In addition, when you find yourself in a conversation and you want to change the subject it will be easier for you.

Step2

Find an activity that you both enjoy. It is important to spend time alone with each child. This is easiest if you use that time to participate in an activity that both of you like to do. Focus on those things you have in common to decide on the activity. You can do things like paint pottery, go to a sports activity, or attend the theater together. Be careful to not just pick something you like to do and drag your kid along with you. Make sure it is something your kid will enjoy and want to do again.

Step3

Get involved in an activity that your child enjoys. Start attending your child’s sports game all of them. If your child is in a play, be at every show. Does your child want to be a model? Get involved in the search. Without being overbearing, be involved in that thing that is most important to your child. Remember that the more you are present, the less chance someone else will have to shape your child.

Step4

Be affectionate with your child. This is something easiest done if you don’t stop being affectionate with them as they get older. If you do have an affection-barrier with your child, then you will have to work on it. Find chances to give them a hug. Put your hand on their shoulder when you talk to them. Look them in the eye. Kiss them good night. No matter how difficult your child is, do not change your affection toward them. This sends a signal that there is nothing they can do stop you from loving them.