How to Give a Birthday Toast

Everyone has been there. A moment of suspense, glasses hanging in the air, all eyes staring in your direction--what do you do? Your mouth opens. Nothing, you have nothing. Say something, your brain shouts in desperation. Finally, you say something. It is met by silence. After a moment, someone else launches into a toast of their own. Next time, give a toast to be proud of.

Difficulty:

Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. Keep it simple. You don't have to re-invent the wheel. Simple toasts are fine. Everyone would much rather hear a short, general toast than a long rambling one that lacks a point. Think of it as a tactical mission: do what you need to do and get out. For instance, no one has ever been punished for a birthday toast consisting of little more than the person's name.

2. Be kind. Sure, roasting a person is great. Everyone loves a funny toast that makes fun of the guest of honor. Those toasts are great, if you can pull them off. Often, they simply end up sounding mean, even petty. Remember, everyone listening to you likes the person being toasted. If you think there is even a chance what you say will veer away from funny-don't say it.

3. Be personal. Don't spill out state secrets, but there is a reason that you are saying something. Whether you volunteered to give a toast, it was foisted upon you or anywhere in between; you probably have some sort of relationship with the person you are toasting. Use it. You don't have to say much, but even mentioning the nature of your connection will improve the toast.

4. Act confident. It doesn't matter if your legs are jelly and your insides are squirming. Act as though you own the room. Stand up straight. Speak slowly and clearly. Make eye contact as you look around the room. Often, how you say something matters more than what you say.

5. Steal. If you want to make an impression rather than just escape, borrow from those who have come before. Go back to greats and borrow a line or two that fits the occasion. Nothing makes you sound as impressive and erudite as a well chosen line.

6. Remember, as Shakespeare once wrote, "brevity is the soul of wit." Keep it short.

Tips & Warnings

• Remember, it is a privilege to make a toast. Enjoy it.

• Don't get flustered if things don't go as well as you would like. After all, at the end of the day, it's just a toast.