How to Heal From Ritual Child Abuse

Ritual child abuse is the most severe form of child abuse from which a child abuse survivor can recover. While all forms of child abuse are serious, ritual child abuse is inflicted by people who have mastered the art of trying to break a child's will. Ritual child abuse involves repeatedly forcing a child to do things that violate his moral code and typically includes ritualistic physical, emotional and sexual abuse. Additionally, ritual child abusers often "program" their victims to ensure their silence. When survivors of ritual child abuse choose to heal, they are often plagued with the strong urge to harm or kill themselves. Additionally, society denies that ritual abuse happens so the child ritual abuse survivor has fewer resources available than survivors of other forms of child abuse. It takes a very strong child to survive ongoing ritual child abuse, so if you have already survived this form of abuse without becoming mentally ill or becoming an abuser yourself, you have what it takes to heal from ritual child abuse.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Make sure you are safe from your abusers. If any of your ritual abusers are still in your life, move away and end contact with them. You will not be able to heal from child ritual abuse until you are safe from those who harmed you.

2. Find a qualified therapist. If possible, find a therapist with experience in counseling people who have suffered from ritual abuse. A qualified therapist with experience in counseling people who have suffered severe and ongoing sexual and physical abuse is the next best alternative. Healing from child ritual abuse is grueling, and you will battle suicidal and self-harming urges repeatedly. Trying to heal from child ritual abuse without a therapist is a bad idea.

3. Educate yourself about healing from ritual abuse. See the book reference provided in the Resources section for a wonderful resource on healing from ritual child abuse. Reading about other people's experiences in healing from ritual child abuse will help you gain confidence that healing is possible. Also, knowing what to expect in the healing process can help reassure you that what you are experiencing is normal.

4. Make a contract not to harm yourself. Many ritually abused children were programmed to self-destruct rather than reveal their histories. Prepare yourself for overwhelming urges to harm, or even kill, yourself. Make a contract with your therapist or a trusted friend that you will not act on those urges until you talk with your therapist or friend.

5. Muster the courage to heal. The traumatic memories that you will face as you heal are very disturbing. You already survived the abuse: You can survive the memories. Remember that each painful memory that you uncover is a positive step toward healing from the aftermath of the abuse.

6. Forgive yourself. Ritual abusers force their victims to make "choices" that cause them to feel guilty. You never had a choice. You were a child, and the adults had all of the power. No matter what atrocities you uncover, remind yourself that your ritual abusers bear the responsibility for the things they forced you to do. You are not responsible for them, even if you were told that you "chose" to do them.

Tips & Warnings

• Celebrate each step toward emotional health. It takes a long time to heal from ritual child abuse, so be sure to recognize how far you have come rather than only looking at how much farther you have to go.
• Most ritual child abuse survivors battle very strong urges to harm or kill themselves. Keep your therapist's emergency number and a suicide hotline number nearby at all times.
• Do not try to heal from ritual child abuse without the assistance of a qualified therapist. This form of child abuse is too severe to attempt healing on your own.

Resources

• Safe Passage to Healing by Chrystine Oksana

[cherold598]

on 9/1/2009 Excellent information to heal from ritual child abuse.

[sunnyglitter]

on 9/1/2009 Step 1 is very important. I cut off all contact with my parents, and my life is much better. Abused children often continue to talk to their abusive parents, which is not always a good thing. 5*