How to Debate like Hillary Clinton

Many of us are afraid to debate in public because we don't know the issues well enough. But after watching Hillary Clinton debate throughout her entire political career, I have come to the conclusion that debating is really easy. It's not necessary that you know the issues. All you have to do is memorize the following strategy.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

1. When your opponents criticize your position on specific issues, say that you are being "personally attacked."
2. When you are accused of ethical lapses, say that those charges are due to a "vast right wing conspiracy."
3. Ever so subtly, take both sides of an issue. For example, if you have already signed a resolution that says U.S. troops should remain in Iraq "to contain Iran," you can then say that you want to withdraw U.S. military presence in Iraq except for "training missions, embassy protection and hunting Al-Quaida."
4. If Step 3 doesn't work and your opponents nail you for taking two sides of an issue, there's no need to panic. Just utter something totally irrelevant that sounds good. For example, if you're accused of taking two different positions on Social Security, say that you believe in “fiscal responsibility.”
5. When you're absolutely stuck for an answer, say that you have "fought your children all your life."
6. If your opponents beat you in the debate, say they are ganging up on you.