How to Stop Head Banging

Head banging is a form of self-injury, also known as self-harm or self-mutilation. Some people who are in deep emotional pain use head banging to manage their emotions. When they become overwhelmed with pain, they bang their heads rhythmically onto a pillow or a wall. They do not feel the physical pain in the moment, but the release from the emotional pain is instantaneous. Because head banging instantly and effectively stops the emotional pain in the short-term, people continue to use this coping mechanism, even though the possible long-term consequences, such as whiplash or brain damage, can be severe. You do not have to stay enslaved to this coping mechanism. Here is how you can stop head banging.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• Strong desire to heal
• Patience

1. Determine the cause of the emotions that are driving the head banging. People do not turn to head banging as a coping mechanism for the small aggravations of life. Head banging is common among people who have suffered from trauma, such as childhood sexual abuse. Until you identify what is driving the very deep pain, you will have a hard time stopping the head banging.
2. Heal the pain that is driving the head banging. Head banging is a symptom of much deeper pain. Doing the healing work with a qualified therapist with experience counseling people with your trauma history will facilitate the process.
3. Process your emotions as they arise. When people bang their heads, they are driving away painful emotions. While this works in the short-term, those emotions are just going to bubble up again until you give them a voice. Punch pillows when you are angry and cry when you feel sad. The more you process your emotions, the less you will feel the need to bang your head.
4. Develop positive coping tools for managing your emotions. Try exercising, talking with a friend, doing yoga, playing a musical instrument or anything else that helps you manage your emotions in a more positive way.
5. Give yourself a cooling off period when you feel the urge to bang your head. Rather than bang your head immediately, try using a positive coping tool first for a minute or two. Extend the cooling off period as you build confidence in positive coping tools.
6. Minimize the physical damage. If you must bang your head, force yourself to bang your hang into a pillow rather than a wall. Try to stop after 5 bangs rather than 20.
7. Forgive yourself. If you do bang your head, do not generate negative energy toward yourself over it. Instead, show yourself compassion. The severity of the emotional pain you are facing is stronger than the physical pain you inflicted upon yourself. Comfort yourself instead of beating yourself up over past actions.

Tips & Warnings

• Do not judge your progress with a pass/fail standard. Instead, celebrate any progress, such as using a pillow instead of the wall or banging your head 10 times instead of 20.
• Be patient with your progress. People who self-injure are dealing with deep emotional pain, and it takes time to heal the aftermath of trauma.
• See a doctor if your head banging results in physical damage. Each time you bang your head, you are jolting your brain around. Err on the side of caution to minimize long-term damage to your brain.
• People who have struggled with self-injury will always be vulnerable to slipping back into old patterns. Even after you conquer head banging, stay mindful of anything that can trigger a relapse.