How to Care for a Loved One with Dementia

It’s difficult to watch a parent, grandparent or even spouse sink into the world of dementia. Regardless of your level of patience and love for the individual, some days a feeling of helplessness is sure to take hold. The following are some steps you can put into place to keep the levels of frustration to a minimum.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

1. Go along. Does it really matter if your mom thinks it’s Saturday? Pick your battles and only take on an issue that poses a safety concern.
2. Communicate with respect and care. Use simple words, short sentences, and a gentle, calm tone of voice. Avoid talking as if your loved one weren’t there. Call him by name to make sure you have his attention before speaking, and be sure to allow enough time for a response.
3. Utilize distractions. Try distracting your loved one with things she has always enjoyed. If she suddenly decides she wants to go to the grocery store (and you just got back), offer to make her favorite treat such as an ice cream sundae, and tell her you have everything you need without going to the store. Often you can manage behavior without causing conflict.
4. Have an activity in your "back pocket." Remember the storm that knocked down lots of small branches recently? Or perhaps the windows need washing. Save the chore for when your loved one needs a distraction. If your husband loved yard work, send him outside to pick up the branches. Was your mom a neat freak? Ask her to wash the windows. They can be content and happy for hours.
5. Identify the underlying need behind challenging behaviors. Can’t figure out why your grandmother keeps going to the bathroom? Often the elderly with dementia can’t properly express themselves, so take her to the doctor for a check-up. If could be that she has an infection and needs antibiotics.
6. Check the locks and secure potentially dangerous items. Remove locks on bathroom and bedroom doors to prevent them from accidentally locking. Use childproof latches on kitchen cabinets and any place where cleaning supplies or other chemicals are kept. Label medications and keep them locked up. Secure knives, lighters, matches and guns.
7. Share joys. Think about ways to bring pleasure and joy to someone with dementia. What type of music do they like? What is their favorite television program?
8. Enjoy quiet evenings. Set a peaceful mood in the evening to encourage sleep. Develop a bedtime routine and use nightlights if the darkness is frightening or disorienting.
9. If your loved one is prone to wandering off, register him with the Alzheimer’s Association’s Safe Return program (see Resources below).