How to Get Along with Difficult People

Whether at work, in organizations, or even in our family, we all encounter people who are not easy to get along with. These suggestions will begin a process through which you can help your relationships work better, thereby relieving stress and making your life more peaceful.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• Willingness to accept responsibility
• Desire for change
• A love of peace will help

1. Realize that not all people are alike. We all have different wants, needs, dreams and motivations, and we all see the world differently.
2. Try to imagine the other person's life, and the struggles they go through. Why are they the way they are? Joyce Meyer says "Hurting people hurt people." Most people who are mean or defensive or scheming are that way because they believe they need to be in order to survive. Compassion and understanding will help.
3. Examine your own hurts. If you are demanding or defensive, ask yourself why. If you are carrying grudges, consider letting them go. A wise saying is "Bitterness is like taking poison and hoping the other person gets sick." Carrying around unforgiveness is simply not worth it. Try forgiving someone with whom you are angry. Let go of the hurt and you will begin to feel much better. Many diseases have a connection to inflammation, which is worse when you are stressed. Other people can do things to you, but you are the one who determines what goes on inside of you. Forgive everybody with whom you are angry and get on with your life.
4. Learn about differences between people. There are lots of personality typing systems. You can learn about why you are the way you are, and then you can begin to understand why others are the way they are. There are real psychological reasons why people behave the way they do. When you know this you can become objective and respond with reason instead of instinct--which might make you want to fight or flee.
5. Try to get over being afraid of people. Many relationship troubles are based on some sort of fear that we will be hurt, beaten in competition, suffer loss, or be humiliated. The Bible says that perfect love casts out all fear. If you know God's perfect love you can begin to get over being so afraid of people and what they might do.
6. Set your boundaries to protect yourself, and don't allow the person to take advantage of you. Sometimes when you are angry about being taken advantage of, the person with whom you are really angry is yourself. It's OK to say no to people, and to be your own person. You don't have to let anyone else control you. If they do it's because you let them.
7. Be willing to be the first one to be nice. This doesn't mean you immediately trust the difficult person, or that everything will suddenly be OK, but it's a beginning place.

Tips & Warnings

• Keep following these steps as new situations arise.