How to find the perfect date

Well here it is, a big event vastly approaching and you find you have no date! Follow my handy dandy methods and you will find yourself arm in arm, not only with that perfect date for the evening, but who knows, maybe even a bright new relationship for the future!

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• courage
• decent clothes for "the night out"
• willingness to change
• topics for conversation
• telephone
• email
• carrier pidgeon (joking!)

1. 

   Make yourself a list of every possible person you know on this green Earth that you might possibly be interested in having as a date for that final day of the year.

2. 

   Next to the list of names, put possible pros of each person, for example for e.g. Lars, you could say, met at line dancing, could dance really well, can talk about dancing.

3. 

   In another column list cons, e.g. He likes to drink a little too much, gets silly and strips to down to nothing, has bad breath, lives with his mother (not always a negative!), has bad breath, brings his dog with him everywhere, - you get the idea.

4. 

   Okay the final step is the ranking the number of stars (one star, not much interest, to five stars - very interested) you give to each person. If your final column has: he delivers really good chinese food, but speaking english is a problem, maybe he doesn't get the five star rating, or maybe he won't talk much at the party (could be a plus), so that could bump him up a few notches in the star category (or her).

5. 
   you can turn me on to anything you want to anything you want to anything at all.

   When you finally have your list compiled (and you can be as creative as you like, even buying gold star and placing them on posterboard) you should list their numbers/email addresses/ways to contact them... and then...

6. 
   single and ready to love

   Begin calling/emailing/whatever method you have of getting to them (you can reach me by train...you can reach me by aeroplane(sorry, I digress!). Now you're probably thinking, "But what if s/he says no!" This is where it gets super easy, don't fixate on any one person, just go down the list. If they all say no...well, you've got the wrong list. Back to the drawing board -start over! And there is probably somebody in your life that really likes you, like that guy/gal at the video rental shop -think outside the box, go with someone you'd never even think of - like the skater dude, or the goth, or the snowboarder, or the freak, it's the 21st century and ANYTHING GOES!!!! The old dating rules don't apply and chances are, if you ask them (and have somewhere decent to go) and don't put too much pressure on the romantic element (which will happen anyway if it's meant to) they'll say yes. OR no. And if your friends ask you "How could you go with icky?" Just tell them, "It's the 21st Century! Standard rules do not apply!" and show them this article!

7. 
   Grandma's need love

   And as a last resort, there is always Mom, or Dad, or a cousin, or brother or gay/straight friend who will go with you. And you'll have a great time anyway, because you don't care...it's the 21st Century and while we're all alive and living on this planet we are here to have a good time -Life is not a DRESS REHEARSAL! (sorry, had to say it!), and isn't always more fun to be around those who love us and whom we love? You bet it is!!

8. 
   two can be more fun! think outside the box!

   Have a good time. Have a plan, a party or wherever you will go. Remember, most of all HAVE FUN! But definately have a plan in place BEFORE you call the person. Pizza and watching the fesitivities at your house/dorm/apartment/parent's cellar can also be fun, but maybe a little too intimate for that first date(depending on your choice). And if there IS somebody special in your life, and you've never told them how you feel, now would be the best time!!! And if it doesn't work out, revert to your list. No getting down on me, okay? Remember have fun, you might not get another chance! Nursing Homes are lousy with folks today regretting that "one that got away." Don't be the poster child for that torch song. Go on! You know you can do it!!! :)

Tips & Warnings

• Dress for success (dress the part, look sharp!)
• Be positive
• smile alot
• have some interesting things to talk about with your date (if they like snowboarding - read up on it)
• plan where you'll go, what you'll do
• if you plan on going somewhere expensive, bring enough cash for both of you. You shouldn't expect your date to pay for themselves
• dress warmly, nothing is worse than having a cold attack during the date
• beware the doom and gloomers - don't take them to a party, they'll only bring you down, better to go stag
• don't drink too much, or that chinese food delivery boy may suddenly become a man
• don't expect too much out of your partner, let things happen naturally
• don't be critical
• go with a fun attitude
• Know when it isn't working, but try, hard as you might, to make it to the end of the date!
• take it slow, only fools rush in (where angels fear to tread!)