How to Game well

Gaming started way back when, when technology was just starting to get good. Games started with such milestones as Mario and Donkey Kong and Zelda. Over the years, gaming has evolved, just as the technology that gave birth to it. Now, gaming is more than timing jumps and collecting a certain amount of objects in a finite amount of time. Time has allowed us the inventions of first person shooters and multiplayer. This is the Next Generation. This is the Future of GAMING!

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

• a game console
• a game of any genre
• a controller with a rechargeable battery
• a charging cord

1. Close yourself off to the world. You may be able to interact with people you're not playing with later on, but for right now you will need to concentrate. Make sure you have refreshments of all sorts in the immediate area (three or four inches from your body.) You don't want to have to get up while you're training, do you?
2. Now here comes the fun part. Get a friend to come over and play with you. Or if you have online play on your console, use that. The reason you're training is most likely to kick butt online, so use online to train.
3. Play for as long as you can. Seriously, the more you play it, the better you get. Make sure to use your refreshments. Food energy is vital when "owning n00bs"
4. Make sure to adopt some gamer language and phrases. Such as:
   
   n00b (noun)[root word: engl. newbie --> engl. newb --> engl. noob --> engl. n00b] a person, specifically a gamer, who disobeys the Code of Conduct (i.e. no team-killing, no kill-stealing) and usually has a high voice and swears like a truckdriver (see Squeeker)
   
   Squeeker (noun) A specific type of n00b that has an unusually high voice and a very dirty vocabulary.
   
   Pwn (verb) to be winning by 5 points or so.
   
   Pwnage (noun) the act of pwning or the person who pwns. Also can be used to describe a feat that amazes (i.e. taking on an entire team single-handedly and not dying once)
   
   Order of Winning (prop. noun) the distinctions between pwnage, ownage and rape.
   
   starting highest to lowest
   
   1. ownage --- 20 or more kills more than the other team
   2. rape --- 19- 11 kills more than the other team
   3. pwnage --- 11-5 kills more than the other team

Tips & Warnings

• Make sure that you're playing Ranked. if you're not playing ranked, it's possible that you're playing with people below your level and this is potentially harmful to your skill.
• Don't play beyond your physical limitations. This can lead to severe brain damage (I'm not kidding. Like, epilepsy and stuff) and obesity if you don't exercise.