How to Deal With a Wild Alligator in Florida

I spent twenty years growing up in Florida and Alligators are everywhere. Golf courses. Subdivisions. State Parks. Public lakes. Canals. I've even seen one in a swimming pool. You name it. They're there. I'm going to give you some common sense advice on what to do if you're walking along and see an Alligator.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. You should never, under any circumstances, approach an alligator. You're no Steve Irwin and you could not only endanger your life, but that of the Alligator. Every year dozens of alligators have to be put down because they have attacked people and pets.
2. Do not feed alligators. As much fun as it seems to toss scraps of steak, chicken, or fish (or your Subway sandwich) at them, don't. They'll come to associate humans with food, and that might spell tragedy for someone else down the road.
3. They're not hard to see and move slowly. Speaking of road, if you see an alligator in the road, don't gun for it. Before they put up fencing along the infamous "Alligator Alley" from Naples to Miami, every week there would be a story about another car that went out of control after hitting a gator. They are solid muscle, and if running over one doesn't damage your car it might send your car out of control into another automobile or into the trees. If you're driving and you encounter an alligator on a road, slow down or stop to avoid hitting it. If you see someone purposely run over one, get their license plate (or "tag") number and call it in to 911. That carcass in the road is now a deadly hazard for other vehicles.
4. Alligators are classified as a threatened species and are protected by state and federal law. Should you "go after" a "nuisance" gator on your own, you are setting yourself up for some stiff penalties. If you live somewhere where an alligator represents a serious threat or problem, contact the local police department and they will contact animal services.
5. If you want to see if gators are around at night, shine a powerful lamp (ones with a million candlepower are best) around the banks. If you see two blaze orange objects floating in the water- it's an alligator. Their eyes shine a bright red if its a big one and will shine green if it's a juvenile. Take care, though. You don't want to get too close to the water's edge. Alligators can sense your footsteps and you could startle them or give them cause to defend themselves.
6. If it's winter in Florida (in the 50's or lower), you won't see gators. Winter is the one time of year in Florida that you can safely go around without worrying about alligators. You'll know it's winter if you see the locals in jeans and jackets and the tourists in shorts and tee shirts.

Tips & Warnings

• Only tourists eat "gator". The meat is extremely chewy and by the time it comes to your table, it's been frozen for song long and deep fried in such thick batter, you could be eating bit of leather and wouldn't know it.
• Alligators were the first settlers of Florida. Give them their due respect. With habitat loss and encroachment, a gator in your subdivision "pond" is not a cause for alarm. Most conflicts between people and gators are percieved rather than real. Just because you moved down from Massachusetts doesn't mean the gator is the one who has to make room.
• Don't support the rednecks who sell Gator foot keychains or varnished heads at the gas stations off the main roads any more than you would support someone in your state selling gruesome artifacts made from local wildlife. It's not only tacky, but you just give the rednecks that make these items the incentive to make more. Look at it. Touch it (if you want). And move along.
• If you live somewhere close to water and have small kids or pets, invest in hurricaine fencing. Alligators can't chew through it and can't climb, so you don't have to get the 9 foot variety. Talk to some of the locals or see what the older neighbors have set up.
• If you have pets outside, don't leave pet food laying out in the open (unless it's behind a fence).
• If you see a little alligator, don't try to catch it or pick it up. The mother is extremely protective and will come to its defense.