How to Deal with a Stalker Ex Boy Friend

It is official. You have finally called it a day and returned all his stuff. You have deleted his name off your phone book. You have made an appointment at the salon, got a new hair color and feel like a total new you. All the days of crying are over. Time to call your girl friends and go out for a drink and a night out on the town to celebrate your new found single hood. You can finally breathe again! Just when you think that, the phone rings and it is your ex. He wants to rub it in that he has moved on and bought himself a fancy set of wheels. ‘Who cares?’ You think. You have moved on too. But the nightmare continues. Here is how to deal with him.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• Patience
• Determination
• A new boyfriend (if possible)

1. A break up is hard no matter how bad a relationship might have been. You are bound to have a bit of doubt if you are ever going to make it again on your own. The last thing you need is an email from your ex everyday asking you if you ever did love him at all or trying to win you back with his stories of how he has turned over a new leaf. I suggest, first things first, add him on to your SPAM list.
2. No matter how many times you have asked him not to call you, he continues to call you with various excuses. You find yourself losing your temper every time he calls. The next time you pick up the phone and it is him, please make it very clear to him that you have actually moved on and it is best he does the same.
3. He tries his last chance. Leaves you a voice mail about how he has moved on and is dating a hot Brazilian chick who is everything he could have asked for in a woman. Delete the voice mail and spend some time doing something useful like reading an article on the French Revolution on Wikipedia. If he has found the ideal woman, you would be the last person on his mind. So don’t waste any time wondering how come he gets the hot chick while you are at home surfing the net. He is obviously expecting a reaction from you. Surprise him by not reacting at all!
4. He sends you a message through a mutual friend about how much he regrets that your relationship never worked out and how he sometimes wish he could turn back time. Make it very clear to the friend that you have already moved on to greener pastures and you don’t live to regret. The message will be relayed back.
5. He sends you a message asking if you would meet him for dinner Friday night for old times’ sake. Tell him that you are really sorry you would not be able to make it because you plan on a weekend out of town with your new boyfriend.
6. He will leave another voice mail saying that the new boy friend is all make believe and how could you be in love with someone else when you are still in love with him. This is the ultimate denial. Get your new boy friend to call him back and ask your ex NEVER to bug you again. If you don’t have a new boy friend, I suggest you hire one just for this purpose.

Tips & Warnings

• You may end up really hurting your ex-boyfriend. If you still have feelings left towards the guy, I suggest you do none of the above. The above rules apply to a guy who has treated you really really badly and doesn’t deserve an ounce of your affection. In other words, a total ass hole.