How to Decide if That Special Someone is Really the Right One

Whether you are dealing with the decision of going out on a second date, committing to be in an exclusive relationship, or even the serious question of getting married, it may be wise to take a closer look at the other person matched up against yourself to help you decide if they are really right for you. You need to see past your feelings of infatuation that new romance can bring and the excitement of it all to try and see who you are really dealing with.

Things You'll Need

• Paper and pen and some quiet time to think

Instructions

1. Draw a vertical line down the center of a piece of paper and title one side "Good" and the other side, maybe "Not so good", or Positive and Negative.
   Take another piece of paper and title it, "What you would like to be different, or changed".

2. Think about this person, and begin to write in the proper column the good or bad, whatever comes to your mind first. There are no wrong answers. They say, love is blind, so you may have to dig a bit here. Be as truthful as possible, and try to look at the important traits like, generosity or maybe frugality, understanding or quick to criticize, slow to anger or quick tempered, prompt or always late, passive or aggressive. You get the idea.

3. Take your time and if you can't complete this in one sitting, come back to it later on, maybe after more encounters with the person you are thinking about, looking a bit closer at them, without them knowing this of course, so they don't become uncomfortable.

4. After you are satisfied you have written out all of the pros and cons, you now want to spend some time analyzing what you have compiled.
   Be thoughtful here and take the other piece of paper, the one titled, "What I would like to see different," and write the negative items on that piece of paper.

5. Working on this paper now, carefully look at these things you would like to see changed. This is where you really have to be honest with yourself. If a person is naturally quick tempered, is this something you can change about them? Also, if they do not change in this area, can you deal with it and still be content yourself?
   If you wrote something, on the other hand, similar to, they wear clothing that is too baggy to hide themselves. Well, maybe you could change this about the person by simply going clothes shopping with them and maybe bringing them out of themselves in this area?

6. By now, you should be aware of this persons characteristics and you should have a good idea of what you can accept, not accept or feel you can change about them. You shouldn't neglect your "feelings" either. Love is a very powerful force and many times someone will change for the other, if they can. Sometimes just by being in a loving relationship, a person may become more friendly to others or maybe gain confidence to chase down that big career job, with you behind them.

7. Being in love and yet knowing there are some things you don't like about that person may seem a contraction, but is very normal. It is really all about what you personally can accept or not, but at least by now you should be more educated as to what that may be.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't toss love over for something you may be able to accept or possibly change about that person.

• Remember that love is a very powerful force, and by virtue of being in love with each other, some changes may occur on their own with love in your corner.

• If there is something you feel you cannot change and you can simply not deal with, you have some choices to make.

• If you can accept this person, "just" as they are. Good for you!

• If you try to change something that cannot be done because it is a deep rooted trait of that person, you may be in for a some heartaches.