How to Apologize to a Parent

Although paining to one’s sense of pride, apologizing to a parent is a necessary move in the direction of repairing a rift that, if left alone, would inevitably widen with the years and through the course of the parent-child relationship. If you have come to realize that you did in fact hurt your mother or father with words or deeds and know now that you were wrong, you have already made a positive step. Now comes the time to carry out verbal steps that make up a sound apology.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Formulate a clear picture of how you would like to broach the apology, enumerating each element that went into the mistake you made and the offense it caused. If you are having trouble articulating how and why you are sorry, you may want to try writing down your apology. The process of transmitting thought to word alone will help clear your head so that you don’t find yourself confused and hot-headed during the apology.

2. Approach your parent when you both are not preoccupied with other matters. Try to ensure that you’ll have ample time to complete the discussion and remain uninterrupted by noise or other members of the family.

3. Start out with an introductory comment that alerts your parent to the gravity and circumstances of the situation. Soon into the conversation, own up to your fault. Don’t equivocate or muddle the statement with excuses.

4. Address all parts of the mistake that you had articulated in your head or on paper ahead of time. Communicate exactly what causes may have factored into your offense.

5. End the apology on a positive note. Explain how you plan to change. Convey your sense of appreciation for his or her understanding if the parent has in fact forgiven you.

Tips & Warnings

• Stay calm during the apology. You will come across as much more sincere, thoughtful and mature.
• Don’t assume the apology is the end of the discussion. Check back in a few days to let your parent know that you truly meant to make amends.

[amylaine]

on 2/23/2008 Good information.