How to Prevent Bad Table Manners in Your Toddler Twins

Bad table manners in your toddler twins can be doubly tough and doubly humiliating so it behooves a parent to address this issue early on. There are some parts of having twins that will actually help you in teaching good table manners. To do this successfully, you will need a plan.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Preparing Your Twin For Good Table Manners

1. The first step in preparing your twins for good table manners is to acquire them yourself. You are the most important part of this task, and they will copy what they see from you. Brush up on your own table manners, and make sure that you use them consistently.

2. Next, you will want to be sure that your twins sit across from each other early on at the table. You do not want them to be overly distracted and tempted by playing with one another. If they are close to each other as toddlers, they will play. Sit them across the table from one another and not right beside each other.

3. Teach your twins the proper use of the phrases "please" and "thank you" at the table. When you pass the butter to your husband or wife, be sure that you use the terms consistently. When you do, it is important at these early stages to be overly dramatic about it. Make sure that you are clear and loud in your delivery in these situations, and your twins will begin to ape what you are saying.

4. Make sure that any and all distractions are gone from the kitchen table before you sit down to eat. There should be no toys, television, or music while you are trying to teach the twins good manners.

Executing The Good Manners When Your Twins are Toddlers

5. Once you have all of the parts from section one in place, you are ready to execute your plan. The first part of the plan should come as early in the twin's life as possible. Your twins will certainly do some things right. These are the most important moments in the twin's development of good table manners. Remember, it is the praise that gets you to the goal, not the reprimands. Anything your child does that resembles good table manners should be praised immediately and excitedly. They will remember those things the next time the situation comes up.

6. Step two is reprimand your child when they exhibit clearly intended bad table manners. Make sure that you are mindful of age, as reprimanding a toddler for dropping their spoon on the floor is simply bad parenting. Throwing their spoon on the floor is another story. This is why I say "clearly intended bad table manners". Ask yourself if they know better. If the answer is yes, then you should reprimand. If the answer is no, then you should explain why it is wrong and encourage them to try to do better.

7. Buy your toddler twins a play tea set, and also a set of playtime silverware and flatware. Take the time to play with them, and practice in this non-threatening setting. You will quickly find this to be very entertaining to a set of twins. They will practice without you, and learn from each other without even realizing it.

8. Have formal dinners at home as they get a bit older. Dress up, and make a big show of it so that your twins know how it is to go out in public to a nice dinner. Take time during the dinner to teach them how to excuse themselves from the table, and why it is important.

Putting the Shine on Good Table Manners

9. As your twins grow older, they will be very open to teaching you. Use this inclination to allow them to correct mistakes at the table. Purposefully ask them to police you on a given night, and make some common mistakes. They will notice more than you expect, and by correcting you, they are reinforcing their own good behavior. Let them teach by teaching.

10. At around the age of ten years old, you should be able to move on to some of the more advanced table manners. Go ahead and show them the more refined side of dining. Your twins may not ever dine with the Queen of England, but they certainly will not be hurt by learning how to do so with elegance. Teach them how to set a proper table. Show them how to use each of the varied utensils. All of this may one day be quite valuable to them and it cultivates the right frame of mind for good table manners.

11. Finally, use the built-in benefits of having twins. Twins always want to teach each other, and are very aware of each other. This lends itself wonderfully to a game. Make a little deputy sheriff badge, or some other symbol of law enforcement that you can label as the "Manners Police." Pin this badge to one of the twins every day, and explain that it is their duty to make sure that all the other people in the home use good manners. If they catch someone using bad manners, then they get a ticket. This can be a chore, or a written reprimand to help them remember.

[amylaine]

on 4/20/2008 Great article.

[Blackbear]

on 3/5/2008 Got your hands full huh?! So did my mom and dad!
I never had any problems with my girl raising her with manners. She just thought it was neat when she dropped her spoon on the floor, mom magically always made it re-appear! Now my boy................!