How to Tuck Missy In

On work nights, or any night that she wants to get away from Neil's unconscious blanket take-over, Missy sleeps on the third floor of our Avignon town house. Her primary objective is to not be awakened by those living in the adjoining apartment, because although we're in separate "homes", they can be heard as though they occupied ours.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Missy
• Poorly Constructed Town Home
• Noisy Neighbors (screaming kids optional)

1. Walk Missy all the way up the stairs, away from the cat's domain and stinky litter box, past Neil's bathroom, and finally into the room which doubles as a home office. (Our bedchamber is on the first floor and it has become increasingly susceptible to the stomping of our neighbors as they rise in the morning.)

2. Lay the cute insomniac on the old and lumpy (but comfy!) couch from Ikea -- don't forget her Swedish foam pillow -- and then turn the noisy fan on "high" to simulate the sound of a jet engine. (Creating a climate of white noise is for drowning the piercing wails of our neighbors' brood.)

3. Wrap the weary woman's feet in a heating pad; obviously make sure it's on, but also remove any fuzzy covering to ensure maximum heat-to-toes transfer. Now add blankets in standard burrito-style by snugging them underneath the edges of her body and folding the end beneath her tootsies. (She loses warmth out her lower extremities like a snake sitting in the snow.)

4. A light kiss, a hug, and the words "Love you, sweet dreams" will send her on her way. The light may now be extinguished and -- "Hey, I was going to read!" -- make sure she is close to the light to turn it off when she needs to and then ever so quietly, leave the room. (We want her to finish Harry Potter, don't we?)

Tips & Warnings

• Turn on the fan in Neil's washroom for additional auditory ambiance.
• We are moving soon to escape (December 2007), so these instructions may very well be out of date and completely unusable by the time you read this!

[knewf]

on 6/20/2008 ANOTHER CUTE ONE :-)

[egodley]

on 11/15/2007 Yes we all want her to finish Harry Potter

[D-Munney]

on 11/15/2007 I will remember this technique when Colleen can't sleep!

[April]

on 11/15/2007 So sweet!