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Step 1
Understand the background and history of feminism. Even more important than this, though, is the need to understand what kind of feminist your potential spouse is. From militant feminism, which is a more difficult situation to tackle, to the more moderate European schools of feminism, you need to know what you're dealing with before you shoot for marriage.
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Step 2
Engage in debate. Just because you want to marry a feminist doesn't mean you need to take up the mantle of feminism. In fact, many feminists will appreciate an ongoing intellectual dialog that revolves around the ideas and issues of feminism. Make sure to keep the argument open and honest as this will help lead you closer to the emotional issues that play a big part in getting to marriage.
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Step 3
Make a plan. In many cases, feminists might want to resist marriage because of the prepackaged gender roles that it includes. Swerve away from this problem by developing your own plan for your married future with your partner. Discuss how all aspects of the household will be shared and that you are not against taking on unconventional responsibilities and roles.
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Step 4
Use feminist ideas in the marriage. Things like agreeing that your spouse-to-be will keep their original last name, assenting to giving children hyphenated names and finding a ceremony and wedding celebration that meets your ideas and your feminist partner's ideas about marriage will help you both get to a point where you can marry. Do your best to integrate the feminist ideas but also maintain your own beliefs in the process.
