How to Live With a Procrastinator
If you have a spouse or family member in your house who is a procrastinator, you most likely feel very frustrated. There must be a better way to live with a procrastinating loved one without losing your own peace of mind and without spending all your energy getting him to change. Overcoming procrastination is difficult, and often impossible, especially if the person is not willing to change.
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Instructions
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Cover your bases. Make sure that your procrastinator doesn't upset your own schedule. Make your own appointments and plans. Take care of yourself.
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Leave plenty of room for the procrastinator to put off things. Tell him or her you need something in a day if you need it in a week. Do important duties yourself, leaving the rest for the procrastinator.
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Talk about your feelings when you find yourself getting angry. Pent-up anger turns to resentment, which often comes out sideways. This behavior is self-defeating and merely gives the person more excuses.
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Offer to help if your procrastinator seems to be in over his head. Procrastinators are often perfectionists and will put off doing things if they don't think they can do them right.
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Share your own fears when appropriate. Procrastinators often can't overcome their character flaws for fear of losing something. When they see how others cope with negative feelings, they may be willing to live and take more risks.
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Hold your procrastinator accountable. Do not be constantly cleaning up after the person who procrastinates. If he misses a deadline, let him deal with the consequences. If she has no clean laundry, she must wear dirty clothes. Do not enable the person to live with this harmful behavior.
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Comments
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vamvam
Sep 22, 2009
I have a friend who i have ended a friendship with. I read what a procrastinator is and this was a light bulb moment for me. He is into home re-modeling and leaves work sitting for weeks or months later un-finished. This creates alot of resentment from others toward him and loss of respect. It also has effected relationships problems in our social circles for he will not make a decision about anything and leaves haning and others resenting him with his non-commmital attitude. He has excuses to cover for what really is deemed " Procrastinator". He is a brilliant man and a hard worker..a perfectionist in his work...when he decides to be. So glad i read articles on the internet this morning on Wikipedia's definition and pschological description of a Procrastinator and the cycles they repeat and live in. Its actually very sad... -
khamilton
Jun 20, 2008
I've been married to a procrastinator for 10 years (as of July 11). I found this article, today, because I had to read about other people's frustrations on the subject. My husband is procrastinating about something as we speak (went for a drive to take care of one errand, which I'm sure has turned into other ones to avoid the tasks at hand). He's in the middle of doing two major renovations on our house (inside) and hasn't touched either of them in weeks. I'm living in a war zone! Believe it or not, the dogs keep me sane (we have no kids). At least I can vent to them on occasion! I wish there was a pill that I could slip in his Coke to fix this!
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khamilton
Jun 20, 2008
I've been married to a procrastinator for 10 years (as of July 11). I found this article, today, because I had to read about other people's frustrations on the subject. My husband is procrastinating about something as we speak (went for a drive to take care of one errand, which I'm sure has turned into other ones to avoid the tasks at hand). He's in the middle of doing two major renovations on our house (inside) and hasn't touched either of them in weeks. I'm living in a war zone! Believe it or not, the dogs keep me sane (we have no kids). At least I can vent to them on occasion! I wish there was a pill that I could slip in his Coke to fix this!
