How to Remain Positive About Sex as a Senior

As we age, a number of changes affect our sex lives in ways that may be discouraging. For dating seniors, especially after the loss of a longtime spouse or partner, rediscovering sex with a new partner can be daunting. Yet seniors can stay positive about and even improve their sexual experiences, to the benefit of their health, happiness and mutual pleasure.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

1. Communicate openly. Let your partner know your needs, wants and limitations. Talk about trying new things like positions that benefit you both. Express your physical and emotional boundaries.
2. Remember that sex is not a singular act. Any touch, romance or connectedness creates intimacy and bonding. Lovemaking can start at holding hands or lying naked together as well as masturbation or oral stimulation. Be creative. The joy of sex comes from any number of activities or expressions. A sensual massage heals and relaxes as well as stimulates while a new position adds spice.
3. Take the pressure off. Advancements in technology, physical therapy, and counseling are designed to assist in senior sex, making it more comfortable, safe and pleasurable. Use the tools available to adjust to changes in your life. Special support cushions, erotic props, and psycho-emotional guidance can all help you and your partner open up to a more positive understanding of sex.
4. Keep your spirits up and your body strong. A healthy diet, exercise, grooming and a good attitude are necessary for health, energy and stamina. Taking care of yourself and keeping an open mind will also make you more attractive to your partner. Sex in the senior years can be a wonderfully different and new adventure. Keep a sense of humor. Sex at any age can be surprising and laughing is a positive response to challenges.
5. Talk to your doctor, especially if you are taking medication or suffer from chronic conditions or sensitivities. Be sure that what you are doing is safe. Sex is healthy and can cause dramatic improvements in your overall well-being, but vigorous or extra flexible activities may cause strain. Take your time and learn about your body. Be careful.
6. Go easy on yourself. Avoid the pitfalls of guilt, frustration, fear and negative self-image that can lead to depression and anxiety. Loss of a partner or spouse can create feelings of betrayal or grief that inhibits the enjoyment of sex. Physical changes may also cause concern, as you adjust to decreased flexibility and muscle tone, spotting and sagging. Relax and rediscover all that is beautiful about your body, your partner's body and lovemaking.
7. Experiment and have fun. One of the easiest ways to develop or maintain a positive attitude about sex is to liberate yourself and your partner from definitions or experiences that defined your sex life in the past. Turn a new leaf. There are no rules that say you can't be who you are now, how you are now, and still enjoy consensul sex. It is your right.

Tips & Warnings

• Lowered sex drive, erectile dysfunction, physical discomfort, and medication are just a few of the possible factors that determine how, when, and if seniors engage in intercourse.