How to fight for custody the Pro Se way

Some of us doesn't have the money to hire an expensive lawyer, and some of us do, and yet we still seem to lose out of the deal anyway only because the lawyer doesn't know enough about the case for whatever reason enough to win it for you. When either of these are the case, you tend to have to just do it yourself! Sound impossible? Well it's not. Everyone usually discourages it but I have never been easily discouraged and apparently you aren't either or you wouldn't be reading this right now! As long as you dedicate yourself to winning, you will!

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Paper. Lots of paper and pens
• Sticky notes
• Paper clips / stapler
• Folders for organization
• Highlighters
• White out
• Inspirational music (helps)
• Time (Lots of it)
• Several trips to the Library
• Access to the Internet
• Access to your Library
• Patience
• A comfortable place to sit and work at.

1. Document, document, document! Anything that is said by the other parent, done by the other parent,etc. Anything that can be used against them in court. Collect any doctor's records, school records, report cards, etc. if you haven't already done so. You have that right!

2. Educate, educate, educate! Learn the child laws. (Library / Internet.) Educate yourself on the courtroom etiquette and procedures. Familarize yourself with the Domestic Relations Court itself by going to the building. Copy and use anything out of the divorce file if there is one. Example, papers that has been filed in the past that you will need your paperwork to resemble when filing. Remember all paperwork you take to the court to be filed must go to the other's attorney as well and it all has to look a certain way.

3. Educate yourself on the courtroom "jargon" used as well as the possible objections that can be brought up against you and/or the possible objections that you can bring up against them.

4. Collect any kind of evidence to be used in court. Ex: Cassette tapes, clothing, pictures, etc. Remember * Any document you want to show in the court that is from an expert such as a doctor -is no good (Heresay) unless that doctor is there as an expert witness to read what is on his/her own paper.

5. Make sure you watch all deadlines sent to you in the mail and write them down on your calendar. This is crucial. If the other attorney doesn't have his/her witness list or his/her evidence list turned in by the date that the judge has set, then you can object to him using his evidence or witness in court come the trial.

6. Remember you can depose the other parent for a cost. You can ask them any question you want to. You can ask them as many questions about themselves and the child(ren) as you wish. This way you are bound to get some true answers even accidentally. This way you can take this transcript into the court room and when you hear the other parent tell a lie, you can pull out the Deposition. Just remember during this deposition, they can always depose you afterwards....and they WILL.

7. When organizing your folders, make it so you have it in this order:
   *Your testimony / Opening Statement
   *Your first set of questions to the witness and your Cross Examination questioning. Do this for all of the witnesses. Remember you can only ask their witness questions pertaining to the questions they already asked...this is your cross examination.
   *Then have the folder ready where you testify yourself.
   *Some judges will let you have a Closing Statement. Prepare one just incase.

8. When you go into the courtroom be respectful to EVERYONE! Have a tablet and pens ready and get prepared for the lies to begin! If you think you know while you are doing all of your planning what the other attorney's attack strategy is, DON'T COUNT ON IT! You won't figure it out. He/she will "play" on something completely unexpected.
   As soon as the other attorney calls his/her first witness and asks the first question, jot down quickly what their answer was. Key words to remember what they said when it's your turn to re-examine them to prove they lied. You wont have time to write it all.
   *Remember, it's not about who takes the case, it's about who had more weight in their case. Be truthful.

9. Remember there are decent, good hearted, and honest lawyers out there and there are not so decent ones as well. I hope the best for you. This will at times be a challenge for you, don't give up. Who knows, maybe you will find out your a natural. Believe it or not, It's inspired me to want to go to Law school.

[mythbuster100]

on 3/10/2009 It is garbage that women always get custody. Don't listen to anyone who tells you that. Statistics show that 75% of fathers get at least 50/50 physical placement of children whether they are upstanding citizens or not. The court system shows extreme sexism towards women. Be prepared, ladies. And this is coming from a man who reconciled with his ex. I see it all now from the perspective of a reformed jerk and all the crap I put her through.

[dadandanthony]

on 8/3/2008 Thank you for the article...Its a sad time for my son and I.... It seems like the truth and that a fathers love and connection with his son..might not be enough to keep him from being take away to another state.

[dadandanthony]

on 8/3/2008 Thank you for this page. This is a very difficult time for my son and I..Its sad when maybe the truth might not be enough to keep my son with me in Floria..

[JMOrganizations]

on 2/9/2008 Very good work. Someone will really benefit from this one day. Thank you.

[favefive]

on 1/9/2008 Excellent tips. You surely have done your homework on this one...especially with your first hand experience. You offer valuable info to everyone who would need this advice!