How to Discuss Nursing Home With Aging Parent

As we age, we can lose the ability to care for ourselves. When a parent reaches that stage, it's difficult to consider transitioning him to a nursing home. However, it is one of the options we might have to consider. Although it's never easy to make the decision to move a parent to a nursing home, advanced planning can soften the pain.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

1. Start discussing it early. Before the time arrives when a parent can no longer stay in her home safely, bring up the topic of what should happen "in case." It won't come as a shock to an elderly parent if she knows in advance.
2. Encourage your parent to have some input in the decision. Gather information from different facilities, and ask your parent to look it over and give you some feedback. Ask your parent if he has heard which facilities were more desirable to potential residents.
3. Tour the facilities. Go by yourself first to rule out any institutions you feel are not appropriate. When you find one with a facility and staff you like, take your parent along.
4. Talk about money. As hard as it is to bring it up, it's essential that you prepare for the high cost of nursing care before you need it. Many aging parents do not have the financial assets to pay for the care, but there are other options. Often a nursing home will absorb most of a resident's assets and then allow her to stay on under Medicaid regulations.
5. Arrange for a family meeting to discuss the distribution of your parent's belongings. Sadly, nursing homes don't provide a lot of room for a resident to bring along the items they have collected over a lifetime. Allowing your parent to disperse these treasures to family members can ease the transition for everyone involved.