How to Suggest Marriage Counseling to Adult Children

Watching a child struggle through the hardships of marriage is difficult for any parent. When your adult child's marriage is in trouble counseling allows the couple to discuss the issues in a non judgmental environment. It's easy to speak to your adult child about marriage counseling when you follow this approach.

Instructions

1. Schedule a meeting. Meet with your adult child and spouse in private. Arrange the meeting away from their children, friends and other family members to prevent feelings of embarrassment. Let them know you plan on discussing a sensitive issue with them and you appreciate them listening to what you have to say before they respond.

2. Explain to them that you have recognized the recent troubles in their marriage. Discuss it's impact on your relationship with them and influencing everyone in the family. Inform them of the feeling of being caught in the middle and pressured to take sides.

3. Explain that the person to offer any marital advice has to be objective and this is too personal for you. Tell them you want to make both feel comfortable and you could loose that by intervening in a private matter.

4. Suggest that they consult a marriage counselor. Explain the benefits associated with marriage counseling including being able to talk in confidence and hearing both sides of the argument. Let them know you plan on supporting them in their decision.

5. Listen to their response. Be prepared to deal with anger on their part or resentment. Stay calm and explain you feel marriage counseling is their best option.

Tips & Warnings

• Recognize that the problems in their marriage are not your fault. Resist the impulse to try and fix it yourself even when asked too.

• If seeing a marriage counselor is to big a step for your adult child and spouse suggest they start off by talking to clergy or consider individual counseling first.

• Allow your adult child and spouse freedom and independence to work on their marriage without interference on your part.

• Interfering in your adult child's marriage could damage the relationship you have with them. Beyond suggesting marriage counseling, stay out of the relationship unless violence or another form of abuse is an issue.

• Remember that your child is an adult now. Let them know you respect their marriage and don't try ordering them or using guilt to convince them to do what you think is best.

• Do not blame your adult child's spouse for the problems in their marriage. Do not confront them about what they have done wrong or what behaviors you think they need to change. Keep your opinions to yourself.