How to Fight the Relocation of Joint Custody Children

Life has become portable, from computers to music. Where you live has also become portable. In the past, it was typical that you grew up, married, and lived out your life in the same area, this is no longer true. With the high number of families with multiple sets of divorcees, the chances of a person having to face this obstacle is increasing. When you've been notified that your ex-spouse has decided to relocate to another state, it is critical to react as soon as possible.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

1. Find an attorney. Even if you're not at this stage yet, it can take weeks to find an attorney that specializes in family law. You may not have that long. Look for someone that has a successful history of dealing with difficult divorce relocations or custody issues. Take advantage of a free consultation if offered, this will allow you to meet face-to-face and to ask how an attorney handles certain points regarding custody.

2. Review your current order. Take a close look at your current custody arrangement.

3. File a petition or motion. According to your attorney's advice, file petition or motion for the following: Sole Physical and Legal Custody; Modify Visitation (this is the alternative if you do not gain full custody); and Terminate Child Support (this is used when custody is exchanged so that the father isn't paying child support while the children are living with him) as soon as you receive notice that your ex-spouse is planning to relocate. Whether you're comfortable with it or not, you're in negotiation over your relationship with your child(ren). A good tactic is to ask for everything up front, this will give you room to negotiate.

4. Clean up your act. This will be a test of your character, patience, resolve, and possibly your sanity. If you are taking any illegal substances, stop. Not only will this benefit your health, you can be required to take drug testing mandated by the court for an indefinite time. One of the most important things to remember is that you need to keep your temper and perspective. The kids may be excited at the prospect of the move, new friends, bigger house, etc. They don't realize the impact it will have in the future. Never, ever blame the children. Surround yourself with reliable witnesses that can testify that you are a competent parent. Join a playgroup or something that you will be doing parent/child activities in front of others. If you are religious, join a church or attend regularly. Any action that shows you are a responsible and active parent is a big help.

5. Request a Guardian ad litem. This is usually an attorney that the court will assign to your case to represent only the children. This person will look at the situation, interview all parties involved, including the children, and make recommendations to the court. An experienced Guardian ad litem knows what a highly emotional time this is and can pick out details from the rubble. The judge pays close attention to the opinions of this person and it can be a boost to your case as this can neutralize any negative opinions your ex-spouse may try to bring to the courtroom.

6. Maintain your current visitation schedule. The judge will be looking at your past to see what type of parent you've been up to now. If you don't take full advantage of your visitation schedule now, why should they listen to your objections? Be as active in your child(ren)'s life as possible, go to their school or extracurricular activities, show up at their sporting events, go along with them on their doctor visits. If you have extended family, such as grandparents, aunts, uncles, who live nearby, bring them to the activities as well. The judge wants to see that the child(ren) will be surrounded by a support network. This is an important point to show the courts, that relocation of the child(ren) will disrupt the status quo. The courts do not like to bring changes into a child's life as it is considered detrimental to their well-being.

7. Document everything. Any communication that may be interpreted as alienation should be kept. Phrases such as "take them away" are usable. Keep any voice messages, emails or letters to use in support of your case.

Tips & Warnings

• Most courts will not entertain your complaint if the child(ren) will be moving to another part of the state, unless that state's law has a stipulation about mileage (e.g. further than a ~150 mile radius). Going out of state usually is a major change and a review of custody arrangements is considered.
• This article applies to knowledge of American Laws and does not substitute for legal advice. Please see a qualified lawyer regarding the right decisions for your situation.

Resources

• “The Art of Negotiating: How to Become a Skilled Negotiator
• “The Co-Parenting Survival Guide
• “Custody for Fathers"