How to Win a Put Down Contest

Nobody likes to be insulted, especially if the culprit is a bully. Most of the time, avoiding the bully will fix such a problem. However, there are times when this just isn't possible. Read on and learn how to tame your bully by becoming a put down artist.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

1. Dig up anything you can find on your bully. Make it your mission to find all the chinks in their armor. Talk to their friends, siblings or anyone who is wiling to give you the lowdown on their shortcomings.
2. Break your bully down by observing their physical and mental traits. Work out if they are fat, have a big nose, are stupid or wear glasses. Sometimes the most obvious characteristics are enough in themselves to provide you with plenty of ammunition.
3. Go for the jugular. Once you know the bully's Achilles' heel, go for it and don't let up. Just be prepared to fight or run like hell if you strike the right chord. Either way, the fact that they lost their cool means you won this battle of wits.
4. Brush up on "your mamma jokes." Some people just can't take anyone ripping on their mother. Try a few out and see how your bully reacts. If it gets them boiling, keep the jokes coming no matter if they're true or not. Check out the resource section below for websites dedicated to this classic put down.
5. Remain calm and unfazed by your bully's words. The main purpose of insulting someone is to fire them up. Therefore, remaining under control is a good way to frustrate your opponent and keep them off-balance.
6. Get a thick skin. Words sometimes hurt like a punch to the gut. Avoid the tendency to get caught up in what is being said and instead think of how you are going to expose your bully's weaknesses.
7. Stay in a safe environment when engaging in any put down contest. Stop blasting if you become outnumbered or are in physical danger. Nothing is worth losing your health (or life) over.