How to Find a Marriage Counselor

Choosing a good marriage counselor is one of the most important steps you will take in trying to save your marriage. While there is no guarantee that a therapist can put your relationship back on track, if you and your spouse have agreed to try counseling, it's important to do some footwork before you choose one. Read on to learn how to find a marriage counselor.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Visit with your pastor or good friends who have worked successfully to save a marriage. Word-of-mouth is a great way to find a marriage counselor. Compile a list and interview each one.
2. Ask the therapist if he works with married couples, specifically. Many therapists treat individuals, but a marriage counselor needs to be experienced in knowing the specific troubles that arise when spouses make a home together.
3. Request that the therapist estimate what percentage of his married clients are still together after counseling with him. He may not give you an exact number, but he should be able to give you an approximation. If he hedges on this question, it's a sign he isn't confident in his success rate.
4. Question whether your therapist has the same values you do. Marriage counselors who are committed to helping you salvage your relationship won't undermine it by asking one partner why they "put up with that," or telling them "It's time to go separate ways." Find one who is committed to the same values you hold.
5. Tell your therapist your goals in the first meeting. If you are there to save the marriage, tell him so. Tell him you want to work out your differences and learn to treat each other with respect. It's your marriage and your money. You set the stage.

Tips & Warnings

• If money is an issue, talk to your pastor, or try calling some local churches. Often, they provide free counseling for married couples. If you don't mind religious-based help, they can be a wonderful and affordable alternative.