Things You'll Need:
- a ton of patience
- the ability to lead by example
- self-discipline
- consistency
- more patience
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Step 1
Parents must lead. Your young one does not possess the skills or self-discipline to guide themselves. It is your responsibility to give them proper behavioral guidance as surely as it is your responsibility to feed and nurture them. You are not "the bad guy" by establishing a few basic ground rules that are non-negotiable. You may have to explain this a few times to other members of your family who might have a tendency to go against what you've established as a positive set of guidelines. Remember, you are your child's leader. You are their advocate in this world. That means you have to develop a "take charge" mentality when it comes to your child's behavioral development. Without you to lead, they will be left to stumble across what seems to work for them, which could mean problems with their social and interpersonal skills over time.
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Step 2
You could easily fill a home library with all the parenting books on shelves today. While it cannot hurt to prepare yourself with some information and advice, be selective. There are some well-established child psychologists who have wonderful books that deal with childhood behavior. But remember, at the end of the day this is your child and no one knows him better than you. No one will be responsible for him but you. Incorporate ideas but be careful not to let the opinions of strangers, albeit professionals, dictate what is best for your child.
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Step 3
There are two elements to teaching good manners and behavior to young children that are practically absolutes: leading by example and consistency. Both are equally important and both must be applied equally. If your child hears or watches you react to others in fits of anger, you are setting the example they will follow. We all have that rough day with customer service and lose our composure on the phone, but when that happens don't dismiss it. Talk to your child about how disappointed you are in yourself and how you're going to work much harder to react better to others. Then you must mean it. Your child is always watching and always taking their cue from you.
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Step 4
Have a few ground rules that are absolutely non-negotiable. For example, absolutely no hitting. No screaming in public. For this one, be prepared to immediately remove your child from the scene, no matter what is going on. If you overlook it once so you don't have to get back into that bank line, you've broken your own rules and it will be very hard to re-establish it. There's just very little wiggle room on consistency.
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Step 5
Expect and extend common courtesy to your child. Again, you are leading by example and have established an expectation that you are also a part of. Say "please," and "thank you" consistently. To do so off and on doesn't establish it as an expectation. Make it a habit they'll have a hard time breaking! When your child shows an act of courtesy or kindness on their own, it should be recognized and praised. They are watching, they are modeling your behavior. Be patient, give gentle but consistent guidance, and be the leader your child learns from!
