How to Use a Men's Public Bathroom Without Annoying Everyone

The bathroom. Everyone has to use it, so why not make the experience as pleasant as possible for everyone involved? Consider this Toiletiquette 101.

Difficulty:

Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need

• A public bathroom
• Common sense

1. Don't use the urinal next to another man if another urinal or stall is free.

2. Just because you're in the bathroom doesn't mean you have license to "let one rip" as you pee. Save it for the stall.

3. Don't be one of these types:
   • The sigher, enjoying a piss way too much.
   • The cell phone talker
   • The premature flusher
   • The conversation (two or more people)
   • The NNF (No Need to Flush)
   • The NNW (No Need to Wash), cousin to the NNF,
   • The hock 'n spitter
   • The toothbrusher/flosser/hygiene guy
   • The whistler
   • The groaner

4. Make sure to put away your junk before walking away from the urinal. No one wants to see that.

5. Don't tap your feet, snap your fingers, breath irregularly or do anything that could be misconstrued as some sort of secret message to a neighboring stall.

6. Regulate your stream so that you pee as long as possible, since it's a scientific fact that the length of one's pee is proportional to the length of one's pee-pee.

7. If you're in the stall, wait until the coast is clear before coming out. No one wants to associate a face with your stench. On a related note, don't leave your access badge on your waistband. When your pants drop to the floor, everyone else can see your picture.

8. If there is a "glory hole," get out. Immediately.