How to Survive an Interfaith Marriage

We have perhaps entered an age where ethnicity and religion play minimal roles in how we choose our spouses. Not only are the bounds of denomination being crossed, but also the boundaries between Christians and non-Christians. This can at times strain even the healthiest of marriages, but there are ways to learn to embrace the differences and survive an interfaith marriage.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Communication is essential prior to marriage. It is not uncommon for people to be so enthralled with all that new love has to offer that they easily and readily push aside any differences. However, when two people of different faiths have reached the point of marriage, it becomes crucial to sit down and discuss not only how the two of you will function in the marriage, but also how your differences will effect child rearing. The difference in religions may not be evident in day to day living, but it will certainly become an issue as holidays approach and the customs and traditions that each of you grew up with begin to clash.
2. Come to an agreement or an arrangement. Will one partner convert to the other’s faith? Will you participate in both faiths equally? Will you choose a new faith together? If you choose to maintain separate faiths, how will you celebrate holidays? Will you combine traditions or create new ones? These are important questions to ask yourselves and each other, but there is always room for common ground and acceptance.
3. If one spouse is going to convert he should then go speak to the Priest, pastor, rabbi, Imam, etc., to find out what steps are necessary in the conversion. If a new faith is going to be sought you should begin looking at different faiths together so that you both are comfortable with the choice.
4. Resolving the issue of which faith your children will be raised in prior to having them should be agreed upon before the children are born. It is one less obstacle in a mountain of child rearing challenges. Having any resentment from one parent will most certainly be felt by the child and may adversely affect their outlook on religion.
5. Remember that faith often plays a critical role in how someone was raised and also helped to shape their view of the world, therefore, it is important to never criticize the areas of each other’s faith that you do not understand or disagree with. Asking questions is the best way to understand and to learn about a faith. Do not be shy, but always be respectful.

Tips & Warnings

• The ease of difficulty of this task depends on being open minded and respectful of your spouse’s beliefs. Each denomination of Christianity handles interfaith marriages differently in terms of participating in the sacraments. Make sure that you speak with your Priest or pastor so that you understand your specific faith’ s guidelines. Remember that you love each other and that marriage is more often than not about compromise and that communication is always the key to a healthy relationship.