How to Avoid Falling into a Relationship Rut

It's Thursday night; and like every Thursday night, you and your sweetie are sitting on the couch sharing your favourite pepperoni pizza and watching TV. Tomorrow, you'll both meet up at the local pub after work to catch up with friends like you do every week. Saturday morning is your standing date for a 5-mile run and breakfast together at the bagel place. In a flash the reruns are forgotten and you're suddenly convinced your marriage is in a rut. "How could this happen," you think to yourself? "I haven't been married very long!" Fret not. You're likely not in a rut but it could become one if you're too busy to pay attention to your relationship. Here are some steps to avoid the dreaded relationship rut.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

1. Learn the difference between a rut and a routine. If you and your honey enjoy spending Thursday nights in front of the idiot box eating take-out food, there's no reason to put a stop to it. It only becomes a rut when one night of TV becomes three or four or five nights and you're turning down invites from your friends because it feels like too much trouble to leave the house.
   
   If this is the point you're at, make a pact that if you watch TV one night, it's off the next night and you do something completely different.
2. Keep separate interests. It might be comfortable to spend all your time with each other but it does nothing to improve your relationship. It's important to have individual hobbies and interests so you don't lose sight of yourself in the relationship and so that you have something to talk about and share.
3. Stop having sex. You're asking yourself, "Did I hear that right?" Yes! When couples get lazy, sex becomes predictable, leading you right into a rut. To spark the passion, announce that for one week there will be absolutely, positively no sex. Now watch what happens. Sex will become all the two of you think about for the next seven days. By the end of the week you'll be ready to rip each other's clothes off.
4. Set out to accomplish new goals together. You might want to try this at New Year's. Sit down and figure out what goals you would like to achieve in the coming year. The only stipulation is it must be something that you do together. Maybe you've always wanted to learn how to kayak or you share a dream to visit Europe. Write out your goals and celebrate each one as you achieve it. The trick is to always have a new shared goal so you avoid falling into the same old routine day-in and day-out.
5. Make your relationship a priority. You would be wise to remember that the courtship doesn't end when you say, "I do." Remind each other regularly how important the other is in your life. Make your partner and your relationship's success the focus of your attention and you'll always be thinking of the best for each other - and consequently, far, far away from worrying about a rut.