How to break the Date Rape Triangle.

The first question you’re asking is what is the date rape triangle? Well, there are three components to just about every date rape. (1) Alcohol and Drugs, (2) Criminal Intent (3) Isolation. In most cases, the potential victim of date/acquaintance rape has the ability to control two out of three of the date rape triangle factors. She can control how much alcohol and/or drugs she consumes, and whether she becomes isolated with the rapist. If she can break just one side of the date rape triangle, then she will greatly reduce her chances of becoming a victim, but remember that there are no guarantees.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

1. Plan ahead. Crime victims who fare the worst in a confrontation with the rapist have one thing in common. Each thought that it would never happen to them, took no precautions, or even gave any thought to protecting themselves. Ask yourself, if he did this or that, what would I do?

2. Questions to ask yourself: If you think that the party you’re at is a high risk for you, what would you do? What if he is not all he said he was, what would you do? What if he tried to assault you, what would you do? What if you couldn’t get home, what would you do? What if you couldn’t fight back because you were too drunk, what would you do? Could you escape? If you did get away, where would you go? How would you get help? Who would you call in an emergency? Take time to ask yourself these questions and think about the answers. Thinking it out in advance, may just save your life.

3. How do you break the triangle? Okay, let’s look at #1 Alcohol and Drugs. You know that the more you drink the more defenseless you become. Alcohol deadens your senses and confuses your brain. He may be in the first stages of sexually assaulting you and because you’ve been drinking or taking drugs; you may not even recognize that you are in danger, until it’s too late and you can’t stop him. Don’t drink too much. Don’t take drugs. Turn your glass over and tell your waiter that you’re not drinking. If your date insists, stand up for yourself and say NO.

4. Let’s go to step (3) now. Isolation: All criminals whether they be kidnappers, rapists or robbers, want to commit their crimes in secret – devoid of witnesses. A rapist will want to get you alone so that no one can help you escape or stop the rape. The issue here is to always stay in a public arena where there are those close by who can come to your aid. That means taking your own car and not depending on him for a ride home. If he insists on getting you alone, stand up for yourself and refuse to go. Better yet, go out with him in a group with people you know and trust. Always have a cellphone and your own transportation.

5. The last factor is (2) Criminal Intent. How do you change his intent to assault and rape you? There are many methods that can and sometimes do work, although there are no guarantees. Being assertive and aware is good. Don’t be passive and weak in your responses to him. If you’re getting a feeling that he’s dangerous or that you’re uncomfortable, honor those feelings. Fear is good. It’s telling you to get out. This is not the time to be nice and ignore the warning signs, just because he’s good looking and you don’t want to jeopardize the relationship. This is the time to think of your own safety first. Communicate with clarity and intensity. Remember that only 7% of your communication is verbal, 38% is tone of voice, and 55% is body language. In order to communicate effectively, your words, tone of voice and your body language have to all be saying the same thing.