How to Make an Ex Want You When They're in Another Relationship

Want to make that ex of yours turn his head from that bunny boiler*? Want to make him stand outside your window with a boom box over his head blasting "I want you to want me"? Well, girls, here's what to do...

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• hot clothes
• make-up
• a camera
• a computer
• tea
• girlfriends
• your self-respect

1. Get out your hottest outfit. Make sure it is tight and revealing. Apply copious amounts of make-up. Take pictures of you in all your hot glory. Post them to your myspace account, or wherever he and his friends will see them.

2. Find out where your ex and his new bimbo will be hanging out that evening. This is usually best researched through mutual friends or by stalking him on the internet. If he has blocked you online, have a friend read his away message on AIM.

3. Go to said place. Look hot. Have too many drinks. Find the hottest guy in the place. Make out with him within view of your ex. Fail to notice that your ex does not even know you exist and leaves with his new woman before you are puking and crying in the parking lot on the way to the hot guy's car, as he has offered to drive you home after you have stopped kissing him in order to tell him about your wonderful ex and how he had been captured by a ho.
   
   Wonder if hot guy is actually gay as he helps you to your door and says goodnight, wiping vomit from your hair. Give him your number which he will call so that they two of you can go shopping and get coffee and talk, proving that he is indeed gay.

4. Sleep too late the next day. Get up stalk your ex on the computer a bit. Call your girlfriends. Invite them over for tea and maybe some chocolate. Have them remind you of your self esteem. Laugh with them about the gay guy that picked you up the night before. Make plans with him and your friends to go out for drinks and maybe some shopping. Realize that you are better off without him, he's your EX for a reason, and his new girl probably isn't a ho after all.
   
   
   Although, if she turned out to be, and cheated on him, it wouldn't be such a bad thing. ;)

Tips & Warnings

• Honestly, he's your ex for a reason. He chose to date someone else instead of you, unless YOU broke up with HIM, in which case, make up your mind! It's not fair to him to jerk him around like that.
• If he dumped you for the new girl, good riddance. There's a nice guy out there for you, or a new jerk if you prefer. So many fish, so many evenings during the week for a date....
• Self-esteem might be new to some of you. It's strong and powerful. Loving yourself will help you find a man who appreciates you and ISN'T dating someone else instead of you.

[tundranut]

on 2/16/2009 It's really hard after the husband of 18 yrs and 3 kids dumps you for his married internet ****, then marries her and makes her the manager of his medical practice that you helped him establish...it almost killed me, but YOU MADE ME LAUGH OUT LOUD!!!!!!! Loved it, and thank you so very much. I hope you keep this crazy stuff up.

[MzHoney]

on 5/20/2008 I agree it was really funny...lol..My ex wants me more now and he has a GF, tells me he doesn't see wifey material in her and he misses me alot, while I have an attratice BF and very nice:)

[JulesCapulet]

on 11/8/2007 this article is great! not only is it humorous, but it has a good moral too. move on ladies, you're better off without him!