How to Get the Most out of your Children

Parenting can be very frustrating, tiring and confusing. With all of its joys and heartache, in order to rear children who will live full productive and meaningful lives there are a few things parents must do.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• An open mind
• Patience
• Understanding
• Sensitivity

1. OPEN YOUR EYES
   As much as you would like to not admit it, you are your parents, and the way you were disciplined and treated is the way you will treat your children. Whether it is up front and obvious or a little more subtle, we imitate taught behavior. If we are willing to recognize this and be conscious of it, we can prevent some of the more negative discipline and child rearing techniques.
2. BE WILLING TO CHANGE
   Having to evaluate what we do and say and how we interact with our children can be difficult. Not only do we have to recognize what we do but we have to be willing to change and grow as our children change and grow.
3. LOVE YOUR CHILDREN
   As parents we have to accept that the love we have experienced is not the love we want for our children. Loving your children is not determined by the things that they do or say; it is not determined by how they make you feel or how they make you look. Your children are not meant to satisfy you for these states can change and real love is more than that. Loving our children begins with connecting to them, appreciating their personalities, and taking part in their lives, showing care and concern, compassion, gentleness, and kindness. When this is our foundation, discipline and rearing our children becomes easier.
4. FUTURE INVESTMENTS
   Our children are the legacy we leave to the world. As parents our children are our future investments. Treating them with such care and concern, and instilling within them their importance and intrinsic value assists in helping to create and nurture a child into a wonderful adult.
5. INDIVIDUAL IDENTITIES
   As parents we must accept that our children although come from us and share many traits are not an extension of our identities. From birth, the world and environment in which the child is born into shapes their personality, which is totally separate from our own. From that moment, as the child grows and develops, they are acquiring a unique identity. Our children can not and will not think exactly as we did or would. Our children will not respond or react in the same ways that we as adults think is appropriate of that child. We have to let their personality develop freely, and appreciate their unique identity, rather than condemn them for the person they are becoming simply because of their choices, actions, etc. As parents it is our responsibility, to love, nurture, guide/direct, appreciate and care for our children, not dictate, manipulate or coerce our children into the people we want them to be, rather than that of whom they are meant o become.
6. RESPECT GIVE/RECEIVE
   As parents we tend to disrespect our children when we disapprove of them for some reason or another, and then we expect and demand that they respect us in all circumstances. Our children mirror and model their behavior from what they see and hear and feel from the people that impact them in their lives the most. We have to respect our children in all aspects of their growth. We have to give them the freedom to grow without restriction and at the same time guide them towards positive learning experiences. As parents we cannot protect our children from everything, but we can be there to guide them through whatever life throws at them.
7. PATIENCE
   Having children requires a bucket load of patience. Be patience with your children, be tolerant and show compassion when ever possible. Recognize the extent of the situation or circumstance when reprimanding your children. The punishment should fir the crime. Punish your children based upon what they do, not how upset or disappointed you are at them.
8. LOVE
   And last but not least, Love you children. Show them that they are wanted, that they are needed and that they have a place in the family that no one else could ever take away from them. Love them when they are doing good and you are proud of them, but also love them when they are making the same bad choice over and over again. Love, the greatest of all that we do for our children comes from love, a genuine love for their safety, well being, and growth, not our own agendas.

Tips & Warnings

• This article is not a sure-fire way to groom children, just an alternative to what you may be doing, an eye opener to something you may not have tried before. This article is meant to inspire and get parents thinking about how to keep a healthy relationship with their children.